Ozzily Yours

Anne

2011-10-23T23:54:00.002-05:00

This episode wasn't as hokey as I remembered. I liked the interplay between first-day-of-school drama and saving-the-world drama, as both felt very real. Seeing Joyce's and Giles' pain, as well as her blaming him for Buffy's disappearance, was also really well-done.

W/r/t the main storyline - I remembered the character of Lily as really annoying and in reality she was only, well, kind of annoying. I had completely forgotten the fact that she pushes their demon tormentor off a ledge in order to save everybody - sort of her redemption. Nice! Perhaps it's knowing that she later turns up in "Angel" as an even more-evolved character that made this more palatable for me.

I think they earned Buffy's return to Sunnydale. We'll see how well they earn her re-incorporation into Sunnydale life.

Becoming

2011-10-08T21:07:00.002-05:00

The DVR kept ending up at >90% full. You can understand how Buffy had to take a back seat to getting that ridiculousness under control.

But today, as the kid went down for a nap, I thought to myself, this is the perfect opportunity! Two to three uninterrupted hours means it's an excellent time to watch the final two episodes of season 2! Sadly, the kid had other plans, but I struggled through it, though with frequent pauses to go downstairs and remind him that if he kept getting out of bed he would NOT be watching the new Thomas DVD he brought home from the library. (Side note: Calvin found this DVD himself and insisted on checking it out; this is the first Thomas show we've actually been exposed to. IT. IS. TERRIBLE. How do parents not shoot themselves after watching this stuff???)

ANYWAY. The first part of this two-parter is, frankly, weaker than I remembered. I found all the Angel flashback stuff kind of trite and was bothered by the constant game of name-the-accent. I'm bugged by the fact that Whistler's presence is never really explained... but I do like the fact that Richard Riehle, as Merrick (Buffy's first watcher) is pretty much the exact opposite of Donald Sutherland in every way. Yeah, Joss Whedon! Stick it to Sutherland!

And Kendra's death remains chilling, and sad, and the perfect set-up for the much stronger, truly heartbreaking second episode. Joss Whedon once said that he figured out early on that if he really wanted fans to be invested, he should just put Willow in danger... but I found the torture of Giles almost too hard to watch. The introduction of Spike as a potential ally for Buffy; Whistler's assertion that, in the end, you're always alone; and, of course, Willow giving herself over to the magic all set up themes that would be returned to over and over throughout the series.

Also, Buffy's coming-out scene remains one of my favorite things ever in television. "Are you sure you're the slayer? Have you tried NOT being the slayer?"

So, all in all: good stuff. I'm done with season 2. And the DVR is inching back up towards the 90% mark.

Go Fish

2011-09-15T18:30:00.003-05:00

Why do I feel like I'm letting this Buffython turn into a Jonathan-a-thon? Because I am pleased to report that this is the first episode in which he gets to be comic relief all on his own - "So you wanted revenge. And you delved into the black arts, didn't you?" "What? No. I snuck in yesterday and peed in the pool." Heh. Danny Strong, you rock. Call me.

Anyway, back when this first aired, I clearly was not yet aware of the gloriousness that is Danny Strong, and I remember my then-boyfriend accusing me of enjoying this episode strictly for the Xander-in-a-Speedo scenes. Thankfully, I now have a husband who more than respects my enjoyment of the Xander-in-a-Speedo scenes. I will say, though, while Nicolas Brendon does look good in this episode, it does no favors for a pre-Prison Break Wentworth Miller who turns up in a distinctly unflattering turtleneck sweater. (Is Wentworth Miller still working? I'm thinking not so much.) I do like the moment when he sheds his skin to become the fish monster. Too bad the fish monster itself is kinda cheesy.

I'm not sure I agree with Adam807's take that the not-subtle subtext here is even more heavy-handed than the very-important internet lesson from "I, Robot... You Jane." Maybe because in the end, the steroid monsters got to be happy in the sea! - so... it all worked out? Sort of? Except for poor swim coach and nurse Conchata Ferrell.

I Only Have Eyes For You

2011-09-15T16:45:00.004-05:00

When I was a preadolescent, my mom took me to see The Journey of Natty Gann and it was SUPER AWESOME. It took place in the depression and followed Natty as she traveled across the country to find her father, who, taking whatever job he could find, had left Natty in the care of his landlady when he found work in Seattle. (Side note: having just had the revelation that Natty's sweet, gentle dad is played by embodiment-of-evil-charm Ray Wise, I realize I must watch this movie again. Soon. To Netflix!) I loved loved loved Natty who, as played by Meredith Salenger, was all spunk and confidence and smarts AND, on top of all that, got to have a very PG pseudo romance with John Cusack.

The next time I registered Meredith Salenger, she was in a movie with the Coreys (RIP, Haim) which, though I did not see it, I'm guessing was no Natty Gann. Then she fell off my radar.

And then she reappeared in Buffy a decade later! And, no surprise, is the reason I have a soft spot for this episode - she is the teacher who, after breaking off an affair with her student (which, good for her - that's a whole other issue) is killed by said student... only to return in ghost/flashback form four decades later.

Other things I like:

"'Something weird is going on.' Isn't that our school motto?" -Xander
Giles being so pathetically sure that the ghost haunting the school is Jenny, and later giving Buffy a very sweet speech on the nature of forgiveness
The continued exposition regarding Snyder's knowledge that the school is on the hellmouth - but that he wants to cross the mayor even less than he wants to confront the beasties from the hellmouth
Spike can walk! And he's MAAAAAD at Angel!

Killed by Death

2011-09-12T17:54:00.001-05:00

Lame Freddy Krueger rip-off lameness. Though the extending eyeballs are kinda cool. But mostly: lameness.

Passion

2011-09-12T17:42:00.002-05:00

I'm currently rereading William Goldman's The Princess Bride. If you've never read it, I highly recommend it (even if you have read it - I got my battered old copy some time in the '80s and, clearly, I still return to it). The central conceit is that Goldman has edited and annotated an old book by one H.S. Morgenstern, and he occasionally interrupts the tale to talk about something he's edited out, explain a certain reference, or just randomly opine. And in one segment, he warns readers that things aren't always fair, both in life and in this book. Specifically, he warns, the wrong people die.

Now that, of course, turns out to be a cop-out. Our hero Westley does, in fact, die - and then, as in the beloved film, Miracle Max eventually brings him back to life (he was only mostly dead, as it turns out, not all dead). I'm not saying I don't love the book - just that it was a cop-out.

The Whedonverse doesn't cop out. And when Jenny Calendar dies, she's the wrong people. I'm not ashamed to admit it got a little dusty in here a couple of times, and I might have had to get a tissue. But at the end of the day, this remains one of the extraordinary things about this series (and, again, about all of Whedon's work - I still hate thinking about Wash in Serenity). It acknowledges that life isn't fair, and the wrong people die, often unexpectedly. And that's important. And heartbreaking. And true.

***

Also of note: why did no one think before that perhaps Angel's invitations to both Buffy's and Willow's houses might be a problem? And lastly, this episode featured another Jonathan moment - this time accompanied by Ellie Kemper of The Office fame in a non-speaking role as a fellow student who ventures into the library with Jonathan. Awesome.

Bewitched, Bothered, & Bewildered

2011-09-08T22:56:00.002-05:00

Not a great episode, but entertaining enough as Xander's Cordelia-intended love spell goes horribly awry. The early season Xander-centric episodes tried to rely too much on comic relief, I think.

I believe it's the second appearance for both Amy and Harmony, which is kind of fun in and of itself - I like the way the Whedonverse takes bit players, gives them a few more lines, then a few more lines, then, suddenly, they're central characters. Given hindsight, it was fun to watch Harmony get to play the queen bee for once - you know she reveled in it for the two days it lasted.

But speaking of who gets to be Queen Bee - if Cordelia's minions turned on her just for dating Xander, why would they not reject the girl with the hair straight from 1966?

Phases

2011-09-04T23:22:00.003-05:00

Why is it so hard to get werewolf makeup and effects right? Werewolves always look ridiculous. It almost makes me want to watch one of the hugely-budged Twilight movies just to see if, with their huge budget, they're capable of making a good-looking werewolf. Except, you know, then I'd be watching Twilight. And that would be no good.

And it's a shame, because it's otherwise such a good episode! Willow and Oz first kiss = awesome, there are some good lines, it advances the evil Angel storyline well. It also features Larry's coming out, which was probably pretty revolutionary at the time (I don't think Dawson's Creek had outed Jack yet at this point - sure, Larry's not a major character, but I still give them credit for it. Especially since it didn't end up being a one-off thing.

In other amusing news: at the beginning of the ep, Oz tells Willow,"They might not look it, but bunnies can really take care of themselves." Perhaps paving the way for Anya. Who knows? And, as I believe Adam807 already pointed out, Seth Green's delivery of, "Is Geordie a werewolf? Uh-huh... and how long has that been going on?" is legendary.

Innocence

2011-08-31T17:29:00.003-05:00

Oops - I mixed up my one-word episode titles. I remain several episodes behind Adam807. D'oh!

Anyway, monumental episode remains monumental. Angel is evil, Judge is dispatched ("What's that do?"), Xander and Cordy are outed, Willow and Oz are adorable, and Giles is fatherly. It is good. All that said, a couple of notes on less-monumental items I may not have noted before:

First, while I'd remembered, of course, that it's Xander's army knowledge that allows them to steal the rocket launcher, I'd forgotten that it's actually entirely his plan - go, Xander! Perhaps you should remember this moment in a year when you're feeling like the Zeppo!

Second, I have long been amused by the fact that the movie theater featured in the Buffy/Angel fight scene has, like, half a dozen Quest for Camelot posters, and no other movie paraphernalia in sight. Quest for Camelot is a Warner Bros. joint, and Buffy aired on the WB, and I assume this meant no one had to pay for the Quest for Camelot images (esp. since they feature drawings, not pictures of actual humans), but I still find it distracting.

And last, perhaps because this was on my mind, I picked up on another copyright-related moment: when Joyce says happy birthday to Buffy, then asks, "I don't have to sing, do I?" You know, it's very rare that you hear anyone singing "Happy birthday to you" on film or television - because the song is still copyrighted (and will be until at least 2030) and producers don't want to shell out for the privilege. Bam! Inconsequential dorky trivia imparted!

Surprise

2011-08-30T18:20:00.003-05:00

Woo-hoo, I'm all caught up to Adam807! (Unless, of course, he's been watching but not posting... he's sneaky that way.)

Anyway, I don't know how he's waited so long between Surprise and Becoming. Watching Surprise is mostly just, well... boring. Namely because you know EVERYTHING that's about to come. Even the funny moments with the Judge don't start until Becoming. Surprise is all blah blah blah, dreams, blah blah blah, maturity, blah blah blah Drusilla-wants-to-end-the-world.

That said, the last minute when Angel rises out of his post-nookie bed and lunges out into the rainy night? STILL gives me goosebumps!

Bad Eggs

2011-08-30T15:57:00.002-05:00

Observation the first: this is one of those times where I wonder if this is something that actually happens in normal public high schools: parenting an egg? Really? Can someone enlighten me?

Observation the second: this episode is not nearly as terrible as I anticipated. The cowboy vampires and the demon eggs - neither of them was as hokey as I feared. The cowboy vampires were actually kind of funny. Also, some great one-liners between Xander and Cordelia, and a lovely moment with Joyce at the very beginning which I had completely forgotten: "Don't you ever think about anything besides boys and clothes?" "...Saving the world from vampires?" Poor Joyce Summers really can't claim to have been THAT surprised, when it came down to it....

Ted

2011-08-30T15:51:00.002-05:00

I can't believe it never occurred to me before now to consider how John Ritter's talent for physicality in his acting played so nicely into this role. Also, it's still sad that John Ritter's dead. I wonder if a guest spot on Buffy was considered a step down for him in 1997? I'm not sure what else he was doing at the time. My pop culture genius is eluding me. Either way, though, I'm not complaining, because this is a great one-off - even without John Ritter, it would still be good - the script is well-written, the pacing is good, and the payoff was, I think, legitimately surprising. "Beg to differ, little lady."

What's My Line? pt 2

2011-08-27T23:22:00.003-05:00

Okay, the fight scene in the church - as Spike is attempting, via a ritual somehow involving Angel (although it's unclear exactly why it's going to kill him) to bring Drusilla back to health - is EPIC. Seriously awesome, with multiple fights going on, good action sequences, and a healthy dose of humor (I don't remember noticing Willow admonishing Giles to "Hold him still!" before staking what I assume was her first vamp). And the scene at the end, where Drusilla rises from the ashes , with the destroyed organ all around her, and tells Spike she'll make him strong again, like her - legitimately chilling.

So it's a shame that the very last shot of the ep, in which Dru carries Spike out of the smoldering church, is ruined by uber-cheesy CGI. Seriously, it make me giggle and forget (briefly) all of the goodness that had come before.

But so much goodness! The assassins are, frankly, AWESOME villains, and I'm so pleased that the Xander-Cordelia storyline actually starts off well (which will finally take my mind off Xander's annoying Buffy crush).

Still, though, nothing - NOTHING - compares to Oz looking at Willow and saying, "You've got the sweetest smile I've ever seen. So anyway, what I'm wondering - do you think all the other animals are mad that the monkey gets to wear pants?" That moment, right there, might be the reason for my enduring crush on Seth Green. And Alyson Hannigan.

What's My Line? pt 1

2011-08-26T18:10:00.003-05:00

Spike and Drusilla are delightfully loopy - I think I'm going to go on record as saying they might have been the best Big Bad of all the seven seasons. Not in terms of evil or anything, but for sheer entertainment value. Glory (season 5) was entertaining, but much more predictable. We'll see, maybe I'll change my mind as I keep watching, but for now, I'm picking them as my favorites.

And speaking of entertainment: "How'd you know?" "I... lurk." The first time David Boreanaz gets to be funny as Angel! Woo-hoo!

On a more thoughtful note, it occurs to me how important the introduction of Kendra is, in that it's a great reminder that Joss Whedon wasn't afraid to muck with the form. Think about it - the show opens every episode with the intonation that "Into each generation a slayer is born," implying there's only one at a time, and less than halfway into season 2, he's messing with that formula. Go, Joss! (Although, seriously, what's up with that accent?)

In Which I (Irritatingly, I'm Sure) Insist on Comparing a Film to Its Source Material

2011-08-25T22:08:00.003-05:00

I am white. Hella white. Polar bear in a snow storm white. I also undeniably come from a place of privilege. That all adds up to a whole lot of white guilt. (You know the type - I recently second-guessed my own AWESOME actor ID because the actor in question was black and I suddenly feared that I was assuming they all looked the same.)

With all that in mind, I was hesitant to read The Help back when everyone was talking about it. I mean, here I am, a privileged white woman, I wouldn't begin to say that I could approximate the African-American point of view even now, let alone in the '60s. So why did I want to read a book that tried to do just that, written by a privileged white woman, about a privileged white woman writing a book about the African-American point of view??? (Man, that's a convoluted sentence.)

But eventually, I succumbed to curiosity, and I found The Help extremely compelling. Sure, I've still got issues with the idea that this is what it took to get this story told... but I'm glad the story got told.

I was intrigued, but not surprised, when I heard about the film version. And I had definite issues with the casting (sure, I adore Allison Janney as much as anyone, and yes, Emma Stone is adorable - but the idea of Ms. Stone portraying the tall, awkward, graceless Skeeter with Ms. Janney as her former-beauty-queen-southern-belle mother? Erm, no). So I decided I had to check it out.

And I came away with renewed appreciation for Kathryn Stockett's book. Because what I vividly remember from it that the film simply did not portray was the absolute mistrust that the maids had for white people (which many of their white employers were completely unaware of), and the abject fear they felt - the understanding that, given they right (or wrong) circumstances, they could literally die for a single misstep. Which made the idea of their willingness to participate in a tell-all regarding the treatment of house staff in Jackson, MS truly an act of courage.

Tate Taylor's film was quirky, precious, comical, and occasionally included footage of both whites and blacks reacting to an offscreen act of violence perpetuated upon a national figure. There was none of the urgency that I imagine truly ignited the civil rights movement, none of the fear. It is true that Viola Davis was (as always) extraordinary, and many other performances were equally memorable (though, still... Emma Stone and Allison Janney? no). But I was disappointed by what was stripped away, and that what remained was so very very lightweight.

The Dark Age

2011-08-25T18:40:00.003-05:00

AWWWW. Just when we get used to Giles taking care of Buffy, Buffy has to go and take care of Giles. Pretty heart-wrenching, and a good growing-up moment for her. Also, I enjoy seeing Willow come into her own (via the take-down of a sparring Xander and Cordelia), especially in light of our previous discussion about her empowering wardrobe (or lack thereof).

Seriously, though, I can't get enough of Giles-as-Ripper. AWESOME.

Anthropomorphic = fine; Suicidal = not so much

2011-08-24T20:24:00.003-05:00

In the mid-'90s, M&Ms had a commercial featuring M&M boot camp. It was old-school, hand-drawn animation, and featured the individual Ms going through their paces - obstacle courses, getting yelled at by higher-ups, etc. - before their final endeavor of leaping into the candy coating. The M&Ms were all insanely enthusiastic about passing these tests and making it through boot camp. I found this commercial incredibly disturbing.

This led many of my friends to ascribe to me a distaste for anthropomorphised food. Incorrect. I love anthropomorphised food! My college life was undeniably improved by the Happy Dancing Cupcake Man and Mr. M&M Man, among others. No, what disturbed me was that these M&Ms were going all out for what was indisputably a suicide mission. I don't know if they were promised 74 M&M virgins or what, but it was creepy and wrong.

This came to mind this evening when, as he ate his dinner, I heard Calvin singing, "It's my turn, it's my turn." I absent-mindedly asked, "Why is it your turn, buddy?" "No," he exclaimed, "HE'S saying it's HIS turn!" He pointed delightedly at the pear slice in his hand and then popped it in his mouth, beaming. Then he picked up the next pear slice, which also immediately began singing, "It's my turn!"

Some days I really do think the kid was preconfigured to mess with me.

Lie To Me

2011-08-24T17:04:00.002-05:00

I remember, way back in 1997, the teasers for this episode promised that we would meet Buffy's very first boyfriend (of course, we learn in the actual ep that she just had a crush on Ford in 5th grade). And at the time, discussing with Adam807 how awesome it would be if it were a guest spot by Luke Perry as Pike. I share this anecdote merely to illustrate that we've ALWAYS been this way.

Anyway, even without Dylan McKay, the episode stands up. While I was prepared for the patheticness of the revelation of Ford's brain cancer, I had forgotten about the patheticness of his vampire-wanna-be cronies. Of course, they live in a world where, frankly, they probably don't really believe vampires exist - so why not imagine a world where they're immortal but friendly? And given that, why not want to be one of them?

That said, the stand-out moments are two completely different lines of dialogue: Willow's treatise on whether sore thumbs really stick out, and Giles' assertion, in response to Buffy's request, "Lie to me," that "it's all terribly easy... and everyone lives happily ever after." Writing it down couldn't possibly do it justice, but his delivery manages to be both affectionate and slightly mocking. Good stuff.

Halloween

2011-08-24T15:40:00.002-05:00

I like the fact that, while Giles continues to insist that very little supernatural activity occurs on Halloween, the seven seasons featured three Halloween-themed episodes. For my money, the haunted frat house in season 4 is a better episode (due partly to SMG's terrible old-timey acting here), but, again, I like this for what it sets up - Willow and Oz, for one; Ethan Rayne, for another ("Hello, Ripper!"), and Giles' dark past; also, Larry (though I suspect his arc was an afterthought).

On another note, the angry feminist in me can't help but harp on the fact that, when Buffy is rhapsodizing about how great it must have been to be a noblewoman, Willow replies, "I prefer being able to vote"... and Buffy, in response, does her best to convince Willow to dress like a whore. Which she eventually does. I know Joss Whedon is all about girl power, but I'm bugged by the mixed messages here, clearly.

Sure, they try to make up for it by showing us how much cooler today's Buffy is than her 18th c. incarnation (who spouts such drivel as "I'm a proper lady, I'm not meant to understand things," and "Surely some men will protect us!"). But that stuff is so heavy-handed it's just... meh.

Reptile Boy

2011-08-24T14:05:00.003-05:00

Things I Really Enjoyed About This Episode:

The premise that is pretty much the same as The Skulls*, except for how it involves a GIANT SNAKE DEMON
The very important lesson that going to a frat party is not just a bad idea, it will get you eaten by a GIANT SNAKE DEMON
Xander's frat party disguise, featuring a red polo shirt and slicked-down hair
The way the frat house is right next to a graveyard - is everything in Sunnydale right next to a graveyard?
The opening pan across said graveyard which includes a tombstone that simply says "DAD" and a tiny pyramid
The appearance of Jordana Spiro, of My Boys** fame, as the first snake-demon-sacrifice
Another appearance by Danny Strong - this time referred to by name as Jonathan!

*The Skulls features one of my all-time favorite pieces of dialogue: "If it's secret and elite, it can't be good!" It is also the reason I still, and will forevermore, refer to Paul Walker as Caleb, no matter how many Fast & Furious movies he does.

**please note that I am aware that no one else watched My Boys, but it featured both awesome shots of Chicago and Jim Gaffigan, both of which make me even happier than all the items listed above.

Inca Mummy Girl

2011-08-23T17:45:00.002-05:00

First, and most importantly: woo-hoo for the first appearance of Danny Strong! Every time I wade through a schlock-tastic episode and start thinking it's about time to bail on this project, something comes along that reminds me how much goodness is yet to come - so now I'm excited for days/weeks/months from now when I watch Earshot and Superstar.

And that said... yeah, if it weren't for Danny Strong, I might almost be done here. You know, for a group of folks who spend an inordinate amount of time investigating supernatural phenomena, it really takes them an awfully long time to register that a) Ampada somehow switched gender before arriving at Buffy's for the cultural exchange and b) every time the mystical mummy seal comes up in conversation she insists that it should be destroyed. And also, how does a 500-year-dead Inca Mummy Girl speak such good English?

In other wonderings, I'm intrigued by the fact that, for Oz's first appearance, Seth Green doesn't just turn up in the guest starring list - he gets a special "and Seth Green as Oz" at the end. What kind of cred did Seth Green had that he warranted that? Don't get me wrong, I love Can't Hardly Wait as much as anybody (probably more than most, frankly), but it still struck me as a little odd. Guess the guy had a really good agent. And now he spends all his time making Robot Chicken.

School Hard

2011-08-23T16:47:00.003-05:00

While it's not a stand-out, there's a lot to like about this episode: the intro of Spike and Drusilla, Angel's pretending to be evil as he tries to trick Spike, Armin Shimerman's always entertaining performance as Principal Snyder, the very welcome death of the Anointed One.

I think it actually marks a turning point for the series, too, as it's the first time we receive hints that folks in Sunnydale know that everything in their town isn't necessarily on the up-and-up. For starters, there's the fact that Joyce has to start acknowledging that what she perceives as Buffy's rebellious behavior is something more than that - the moment when she saves Buffy from Spike is goosebump-giving. More explicitly, though, as Snyder throws out the "gang related, PCP" story to cover up for the vampires, we realize that the town's leaders know much more than they're letting on... it's fun to watch knowing that, eventually, that will lead up to the season 3 Mayor arc.

Some Assembly Required

2011-08-18T17:20:00.003-05:00

I remember that this episode was so lazy it basically ripped off Frankenstein. I'd forgotten that it's so lazy that the plot is first uncovered when Buffy stumbles into an open grave left behind by the graverobbers. Why are they so foolish as to LEAVE THE OPEN GRAVE behind? Lame.

Not much else to say. Except that Giles' first date with Jenny is pretty adorable, as she drags him to a Sunnydale High football game.

When She Was Bad

2011-08-18T17:09:00.003-05:00

Now that I know my brother is dutifully slogging through these posts, despite his distaste for all things Buffyverse, I feel even more obligated to pick up this project again. After all, it is a younger sister's duty to aggravate her sibling, no?

Anyway, season 2 kind of opens with a whimper rather than a bang. To be sure, it fits nicely into Joss Whedon's efforts to portray things that we all go through in high school... but when one of those things is our fearless heroine taking a short foray into bitchland, it gets a little boring. Yes, all adolescent girls go through periods of nastiness, but it's still not fun to watch, especially when you know there's no way it's going to last more than an episode.

Watching this episode, I may have identified the source of my irritation with the Xander-on-Buffy crush: the fact that it is nowhere near as adorable as the Willow-on-Xander crush. Because seriously, is there anything as adorable as Alyson Hannigan? No, there is not. The ep features one of my all-time favorite moments, when Xander recreates the movie Witness by putting ice cream on Willow's nose. SO CUTE. And Willow's attempt to recreate that moment later in the Bronze? SO HEARTBREAKING.

I'll Be Back

2011-08-01T22:53:00.002-05:00

Damn, Degrassi is good. The only thing that would make it better is the occasional vampire.

I jest, clearly. There are no vampires in Toronto. Probably werewolves, though.

Anyway, between the return of Degrassi and my work on the 34th annual Bay Area Playwrights Festival, I am obviously derelict in my watching duties and have clearly fallen well behind Adam807, who is well into season 2. I thought I'd get back into the zone this week until - as I watched the very last play on the very last day of the very last weekend of the Festival - I got word that my son had cracked his head open BUT GOOD.

The good news: no stitches! The bad news: no Buffy! I may be able to pick up a couple of episodes in the next few days, but then we are off to Chicago for 10 days (woo-hoo!). So I urge you not to wait with bated breath. All three of you.

Prophecy Girl

2011-07-18T13:08:00.004-05:00

So I've been finding Xander's crush on Buffy distracting and boring. And yet, now I feel bad about that, because it resolves so nicely. The scene at the beginning, after Buffy tells him she doesn't have feelings for him, and he stammers out, "Well, try. I'll wait." REALLY nicely done. Also, Willow totally comes into her own when she tells him she's not going to be his second-choice date, which is also nice to see.

There's not much else to say about this episode that hasn't been said a million times over - Master is awesome, Giles is fatherly, "nice dress," etc. But I do have to ask, is this the only time that the opening theme is used in the show (when Buffy, newly risen from the dead, is heading to the library to take out the Master)? Because it rocks, but it's also a little disconcerting. My instinct is that perhaps they assumed they wouldn't get a second season, so decided to pull out all the stops.

Aaaaaand... that's season 1 done!

Out of Mind, Out of Sight

2011-07-18T12:29:00.002-05:00

Adam807 mentioned that he was particularly disappointed by the rewatch of this episode, one of his old favorites. And maybe due to that I went in with low expectations, for which I should thank him, because I found it delightful.

It's true that the pacing was a little goofy and the "big reveal" was pretty obvious early on - but it was an interesting plotline that really served Joss Whedon's central theory that high school = hell. I think Clea DuVall is adorable and generally underused and I actually like her work in the flashback scenes - she really captures the awkwardness of trying (and failing) to insert yourself into a conversation.

I also never registered before the parallel story that we're supposed to be getting w/r/t Buffy - the fact that, even though she's made great friends in Willow and Xander, she still feels left out quite frequently when the three of them are together as evidenced by the "Be my deputy!" story, when they both get the giggles remembering a Cordelia incident from grade school. (Also, Alyson Hannigan and Nicolas Brendon do a lovely job busting out the inside joke and then realizing how rude it is... but not being able to control the giggles anyway.)

This episode also gave us the first portrayal of Cordelia as human - she (briefly) opens up to Buffy about how popularity isn't necessarily always protection against loneliness... and she attempts to genuinely thank them at the end of the episode, but her popular buddies shame her into walking away. I feel like it sets up Cordelia for her later reluctant transformation into a member of the gang.

And, of course, the very end of this episode can't be beat - "We'll rehabilitate her, make her a useful member of society." OF COURSE the CIA would be recruiting invisible, lonely teenagers to be assassins! AWESOME.

Nightmares

2011-07-15T17:48:00.002-05:00

Blah, blah, blah, face your fears. Clowns aren't so scary, your parents didn't break up because of you, you're not going to become a vampire. It's not good to abuse children, even (especially?) when the moppet in question appears to be a doppelganger for a young Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Clearly, I need a break.

But before that, I posit this question: given that this episode took pains to establish that Buffy's father is, in fact, a decent, stand-up kinda guy, why was he later portrayed as a skirt-chasing deadbeat dad? I mean, this wasn't a throwaway thing, we were clearly meant to recognize that their relationship was going to be pretty solid going forward. I'm thinking it was just easier to forget that ever happened... which is what frustrates me even more. Lazy, yo!

Man, am I excited for all that new Degrassi next week.

The Puppet Show

2011-07-15T16:08:00.007-05:00

I'm not really a gamer, in that it's pretty rare for me to get addicted to a game and, frankly, most of the time I don't see the point. Every now and then, though, something comes along that really catches my fancy. One of my favorite gaming periods came when we got a copy of the Buffy game, Chaos Bleeds. Not because it's a particularly good game - it's kind of not, though it's fun to explore virtual Sunnydale - but because I really liked being Sid the puppet. SID! He's so silly! And his little arms are like windmills when he runs!

Anyway, it goes back to a longstanding affection for Sid. Not only did he make for a terrific red herring, he was a fun character beyond that. As Buffy says, "Horny dummy, ha ha, it's very funny." And she's right! "You're strong, athletic, limber... nubile.... I'm back." It's a quote that frequently makes the rounds in our house.

I'm pleased that it remains a pretty strong episode overall. It's got some good twists, and some good Scooby gang cooperation. Also of note: Cordelia singing "The Greatest Love of All," which comes back years later in an "Angel" episode; the first appearance of Armin Shimerman as Principal Snyder; and the Oedipus performance by Xander, Buffy, and Willow that plays over the closing credits, which is comedic genius all on its own.

In other news, I have just realized that my determination to keep plowing through these episodes is keeping me from, while I work, watching Can't Hardly Wait, Harold and Kumar, and/or Bring It On. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

I, Robot... You, Jane

2011-07-15T16:03:00.002-05:00

I was dreading watching this episode, remembering it as incredibly lame. Imagine my surprise - and, ultimately, disappointment - when I realized it actually could have been kind of cool!

Make no mistake, the opening with the monks and the chanting and the stupid demon is dumb. But the moment when Willow scans the book and then the "Where am I?" slowly appears?... Actually a tiny bit chilling.

And then ruined by, well, everything else. The misrepresentation of how computers work. The bad graphics. The bad sound (that demon voice is so not intimidating). The bad plotting (really, Dave? you couldn't get out of that noose?). The use of the phrase, "I'm jacked in." ARGH!

It is a travesty that this episode marked Jenny Callendar's first appearance.

Angel

2011-07-15T14:55:00.002-05:00

This episode isn't bad, per se... but it's not really memorable. I'm sure that the first time around, the revelations about Angel, Darla, and the Master were mind-blowing, rewatching it just isn't all that. That may also be because I've been finding Angel annoying since episode 1. I think David Boreanaz was better used on "Angel" (and perhaps in later seasons of "Buffy," we'll see) when he was allowed to have a sense of humor and do something besides brood handsomely. (For the record, I also find Xander's crush on Buffy tiresome... though Willow's crush on Xander is still adorable. Can Alyson Hannigan do no wrong???)

Interesting, though, that Darla tried to kill Buffy with a gun. It's not that often that you see modern weaponry in "Buffy."

The Pack

2011-07-15T13:42:00.003-05:00

I have a bunch of work to do from home today, but it's all work that can easily (and justifiably) be done in front of the television. AWESOME. Especially since my Buffy viewing is likely to slow down next week with the season premiere of Degrassi (woo-hoo!).

ANYWAY....

First, I love that Dodgeball is the go-to method of expressing high school aggression. I enjoy this scene almost as much as the one from "Freaks & Geeks." Again... my experience not being normal, did people really play ultra-violent dodgeball in high school? I dimly remember playing it in grade school - which might be more disturbing.

And clearly, when I lamented the impending death of Principal Flutie, I did not realize just how soon it would come. Bob Flutie, we hardly knew ye. But at least you got one of the best deaths ever.

This episode seems to be the first use of Joss Whedon's "When in doubt, put Willow in danger" rule. The hyena folk just didn't seem like that much of a real threat, though, so it wasn't that effective. More effective than the later "put a random suburban family in danger" maneuver, though - what was up with that?

Anyway, "The Pack" is all kinds of silliness, but I really enjoy it. Maybe because it sort of embraces its silliness, what with the eating of Flutie and Herbert and the glowing eyes and all.

Never Kill a Boy on the First Date

2011-07-13T22:34:00.004-05:00

For three seasons of "Chuck," I have been laboring under the delusion that Captain Awesome was played by Owen, the titular boy (who, for the record, was not actually killed). The moment he first walked onscreen, I realized I was wrong, that my superpower of identifying "that guy" actors had failed me. I honestly don't know what to do with this revelation. I'm so disappointed in myself.

And now I've gone to imdb and discovered that "Chuck" has, in reality, been on for four seasons. Seriously, what the hell has become of my pop culture savant tendencies??? I blame my spawn. (For that and for the fact that I can now quote extensively from both "Yo Gabba Gabba" and Cars.) Sigh. Of course, "Chuck" premiered before Calvin's birth. Sigh, again.

Despite the fact that this totally tainted my viewing of this episode, I still found it really sweet. This must be why I was willing to stick with the show after the crap that was "Teacher's Pet." It got back to its roots - a teenage girl with tremendous responsibilities who is trying, against all odds, to just be a teenage girl. It allows SMG to do that strong-yet-vulnerable thing that I was waxing rhapsodic about after my viewing of the first two episodes.

Also, back to vampires instead of mid-life crisis Wiccans and mantis puppets. Vampires are way better.

Teacher's Pet

2011-07-13T16:31:00.002-05:00

There is just too much ridiculousness going on here. Seriously, when your biggest problem is NOT the incredible cheesiness of your human-sized praying mantis puppet, you have a problem. Among the questions that came to mind:

Why would Ms. French be so dumb as to do the 180-degree head rotation in school where anyone can see her?
Why does she keep her food (crickets, for the record) in a Tupperware labeled "FOOD"?
Why did she strike fear in the hearts of vampires?
Why, exactly, did she need virgins for her fertilization?

And speaking of which... I don't know if this is one of those things I don't get because I went to a strange tiny high school... but do high school students really waste that much brain power and energy analyzing who may or may not be a virgin? And was it really necessary to devote that much of the episode to that question?

Yeah, so, clearly, this was not high on my list of must-see episodes (truth be told, my disc is a little scratched and I wasn't able to watch the first five minutes... and I was more than okay with that). Though I have to say, I appreciated the one appearance of Principal Flutie. I don't think I appreciated him all that much in the past, but he's funny stuff. All the sadder to know that he won't be around all that long.

Witch

2011-07-09T22:39:00.003-05:00

Really? A cauldron of bubbling green witch's brew? Really? I'm glad Sunnydale's witches got a little less obvious in later years. Still, though, props for the very first use of black eyes=evil witch.

I remain surprised that, given Charisma Carpenter's cheerleading past, she doesn't get more to do in this episode (or, well, ever in the realm of cheerleading). But maybe that's just because I have a weird obsession with competitive cheerleading (seriously, just this morning I was trying to teach my son spirit fingers... "THESE are spirit fingers, and THESE are GOLD!").

While the obvious parallel to the main storyline (Amy/Mom witchery, cheerleading) is that of Joyce trying to relate to Buffy, I was also struck by the fact that Giles' paternal instincts towards Buffy began to take shape so early - I really liked the moment when, getting Buffy prepared for the moment when the spell which was weakening her would be broken, he didn't just lie her down; instead, he put his tweed jacket under her head as a pillow and told her everything would be okay. Clearly indicative of where things would go over the next seven years.

Things That Make Me Happy

2011-07-07T23:33:00.004-05:00

Last week, famously cranky Adam807 was compelled to clarify that he does, in fact, like some things. Today, significantly less cranky Vixen was also inspired to share the things that she loves. I'm ripping off the two of them because it seems like a nice idea, detailing the things that make me happy:

Rereading old books - it's like talking to an old friend, but still discovering something new
A good pedicure
The color red
Live theater
CSA-fresh produce
Calvin's quirks of speech: "upside-down" is "upside-over," the plural of "man" is "mans," and feeling a little stuffy leads to "I need a blow nose!"
That first cup of coffee in the morning, when the house is still quiet
Beer... any time

That's just off the top of my head... I should revisit the list now and then!

Welcome to the Hellmouth/The Harvest

2011-07-07T23:29:00.006-05:00

And so it begins!

I have to say, I remember loving this show from the beginning - but in retrospect, I think its early success should be credited more to Sarah Michelle Gellar than to Joss Whedon. He hadn't quite found his groove - there are a lot of hokey horror movie tropes, the pacing's a little wonky, and the writing's not quite as crisp as I would expect. But SMG is quite endearing, simultaneously strong and vulnerable, both yearning to be popular and feeling the pain of the geeks. She really carried these episodes for me.

That said, there were definitely glimpses of what would make "Buffy" great. For me, the most powerful is probably the use of Eric Balfour as Jesse. It's heartbreaking watching his friends try to save him to no avail. It was really an indicator that the show was going to be willing to go there... deal with actual loss, pain, and darkness. (I read at one point that Whedon really wanted to include Eric Balfour in the opening credits to really drive that point home - lead people to assume that there's no way this character would actually be killed - a trick he would use in later years.)

Random thoughts: Kristine Sutherland had a really bad haircut; Willow's "it's okay, I can solve the problem through hacking!" solution was amusingly dated; David Boreanaz was super-cheesy and kinda useless; and Anthony Stewart Head was TOTALLY unsexy, disappointingly.

And in other news, Adam807 has officially declared his intention to join me in this endeavor, though he hasn't posted any official episode observations yet.

Buffython... the prequel

2011-07-07T17:47:00.005-05:00

I am an angry feminist. Anyone who's known me for at least 15 years is not surprised by this, given that I wore the "angry" on my sleeve in that way that gives feminists a bad (and humorless) name. Anyone who's only known me for, say, 5 years may be surprised to learn this, as I've gotten much better at keeping the peace and choosing my battles (though I still have the occasional battle). Anyone who knows me well, though, knows it to be true, and knows that I can actually make persuasive arguments about why feminism is still important.

You also know that I don't have issues reconciling my pop culture obsession with my feminism (there is a running joke in our house, dating back to the viewing of the holiday classic Jack Frost, about how "NORMALLY, rape is not very funny, but if Michaela's laughing, it must be okay"). Still, though, it's nice when the two successfully coincide.

The summer after my senior year in high school, I heard about a new movie about a girl. A kick-ass girl who discovers she is chosen, tough, buff, truly extraordinary. I was PSYCHED to see it and dragged my then-boyfriend on opening weekend. (I still feel a little bad about the fact that, after the movie, I broke up with him so I could go to college a single woman. One can be an angry feminist and still be terrible about interpersonal relationships. It's okay, though, he ended up marrying the girl he dated after me, so I guess I just set him up for that.)

To this day, Joss Whedon apparently blames Donald Sutherland for ruining Buffy, the Vampire Slayer. And while I feel his pain, I was still really taken with the story of the vapid 16-year-old girl who is called upon to fight evil (and super-excited when I met Kristy Swanson in a Wisconsin bar years later... but that's another story altogether).

Anyway, clearly I was thrilled five years later when I saw the news that television would now host Whedon's vision of a hot blonde girl in an alley who, instead of running away screaming like a, well, little girl, smokes the bad guy without a second thought. I watched the new and (vastly) improved Buffy from episode 1. I've rewatched the entire series once and single episodes countless times. We played the Buffy theme at our wedding, along with Willow and Tara's love song from the Buffical. I wrote a paper about the show's move from the WB to UPN for my Negotiations class. I defended my love of Buffy to family members (and still do).

So when Adam807 challenged me to join him in rewatching and blogging about the ENTIRE SERIES... who was I to say no? I'm hoping to watch "Welcome to the Hellmouth" tonight and post a blurb about my reaction, rewatching it all 14 years later.

2011-07-05T13:47:00.002-05:00

I went away from the blog for a while.

I didn't do it on purpose.

After the last post I wrote, I guess I didn't have much to say. Or I knew I would have a hard time saying it.

We are fast coming up on the one-year anniversary. I am dreading the day. (Coincidentally, also my brother's birthday... sorry, Ian, your 40th will be somewhat tainted for me. Perhaps also your 41st, 42nd, 43rd....)

So much has changed. We have moved from San Francisco to Mountain View. Calvin is talking up a storm. I am back for a second summer working at the Bay Area Playwrights Festival.

So much has not. I am still trying to find a full-time, permanent job, and feeling like a failure for my inability to do so. I am still missing Chicago. I am still missing Todd, so much.

When does the hurt go away? Not ever, I know that. I've been through this enough times now that I know that. I feel too young to have lost so many friends, so many of them in such a tragic way. I know I'm not so young anymore, and yet it's still too young for this. Friends lost to accidents, violent crimes, disease. Suicide. Todd's not the first person I've lost that way, but he's definitely the closest.

But the hurt numbs, in time. Or it should. Some days it's still sharp as a knife, though most days it's just there below the surface, throbbing gently.

I need to help myself get over the hurt. I need to help myself get over Chicago. I need to help myself realize that my lack of employment is a function of the economy, not of any personal failing on my part.

I need to focus on the good, and I hope that forcing myself to start writing again will help me to do that. Feel free to join me... or not. When I first started this blog several years ago, it was under similar, miserable-making circumstances. I seem to remember it helped. Perhaps it will help again.

2010-07-27T11:43:00.002-05:00

Todd and I met in an elevator in Regents Park during the Progressive Party - just a week into Orientation. I don't remember how the conversation started, but we were soon thick into a discussion of Star Trek. (Later that same night I met Zimran and we talked about Buffy... nice to confirm early on I was surrounded by fellow geeks.)

A group of us wiled away many an Friday evening at the U of C pub. Todd loved playing shuffleboard with anyone who was willing. We also spent time exploring the options on the Jukebox, watching Chris dance to Britney Spears, splitting pitchers of beer and curly fries, and discussing... who knows what? Classes, economic theory, movies, the girls that they weren't getting.

We frequently shared cabs home from TNDC. One Friday afternoon after one such ride I ran into Todd in Cox and he told me that, the night before, he had been so drunk he couldn't untie his shoelaces and resorted to sawing them off with a knife.

The first time Todd met Marc, he spent 20 minutes babbling about how porn was the perfect business model and anyone with any sense would realize that was the place to invest (this was well before Avenue Q popularized that theory with "The Internet is for Porn"). He was comfortable sharing random opinions with anyone who would listen.

Todd always made me laugh. Even when we were arguing (not infrequent, I was quite the liberal by U of C standards) he made me smile.

When I got laid off a year or two after graduation, I headed out to New York to crash with my stepsister for a few days. I called Todd at the last minute to see if he wanted to catch up. As always, it was like no time had passed... we ended up in a dark corner of a pub throwing back pints, alternately yelling at each other and laughing hysterically.

Todd met and married a wonderful woman - a woman we all teased him was too good for him. I loved spending time with them and watching her rib him, all the while their genuine affection for each other totally on display.

Apparently something happened that made Todd not want to be around anymore. I sort of wish I knew what it was... I wish I could have tried to talk him through it. I wish I could say good-bye. I wish I had a way to tell Rebecca how much my heart breaks for her loss. I wish I had told him more explicitly how much I liked him, how much he meant to me. I wish he were still with us.

I will miss Todd very, very much. I know I'm not the only one.

Huh.

2010-02-09T08:12:00.002-06:00

It's been a while, it seems. I do have things to say - about how Avatar is overrated, about how unseasonably cool Tucson weather is, of course, preferable to normal Chicago weather, about how we seem to have found a home in San Francisco. At the moment, though, I have not the time to say them.

Fun with Language

2009-05-05T10:07:00.002-05:00

So I went to Target yesterday. Which was thrilling, as always. Anyway, on my way in, I noticed a sign on the door that said, "Only service animals allowed inside store."

Which was awesome, because it made me picture a Target that caters exclusively to seeing eye dogs and helper monkeys.

Fly, My Pretties! Fly!

2009-04-05T10:33:00.003-05:00

So this photo was posted on Dogs Looking Like People with only the following commentary:

"I don't know."

OK, I know most people aren't as obsessed as I am... but really, does no one else immediately recognize them as the Wicked Witch of the West's flying monkeys???

Good TV Remains Addictive, Even with a Baby to Distract You

2009-03-24T09:51:00.005-05:00

The husband and I had not watched an episode of "Lost" since Ozmo arrived on January 28. I was a little worried that his two-week spring break would not be enough time to catch up on the 7 episodes that had piled up on the Tivo.

It took two and half days.

Adjustments

2009-03-02T13:10:00.002-06:00

Just six months ago, I considered the following to be noteworthy accomplishments:

A sold-out house; patrons going out of their way to compliment my staff on their excellent customer service; a quantifiably successful ad run; creating and implementing more efficient data collection procedures.

Also: making and serving a scrumptious dinner; ample time spent with the husband; finishing an excellent book.

Not to mention: getting all errands done quickly and efficiently on a Sunday morning; meeting friends for a leisurely brunch; being caught up on e-mails and phone calls.

And now, successes include:

Getting through bedtime at night with minimal fuss; loading the dishwasher; taking a shower; convincing Floyd we still love him; and best of all, coaxing a smile out of Ozmo.

I know this period will be brief, and that items from the above lists will eventually make their way back into my life. Still, though, it feels a little strange. Good, but strange.

Ozmo Blogzmo

2009-02-11T11:27:00.002-06:00

As you likely know, before we knew Calvin was Calvin, we referred to him as Ozmodiar - Ozmo for short. We have the sneaking suspicion that that nickname will stick around to some extent (thanks partly to Rob, who continues to insist that our child's name ought to be Ozmodiar Floyd Jr. Elzweig). As such, to keep up with his comings and goings, we are proud to present Ozmo Blogzmo. (There are some older posts here as well detailing some of the pregnancy goings-on....)

Because you don't already have enough that you're not paying attention to in your RSS feed, I know....

41 Weeks and Counting

2009-01-25T14:51:00.002-06:00

So for those of you keeping score at home, yes, Ozmodiar's estimated date of delivery was Monday, January 19. And for those of you assuming we've just forgotten about you... while I must admit I wish that were the case, that I had, in fact, given birth and just flaked on communicating that to my friends, no, the stubborn little stinker is still hanging out inside my uterus.

The husband has pointed out that he and I both tend to be just a tiny bit stubborn (I know you're all shocked by that revelation!) and, as such, perhaps should not be surprised by our offspring's reticence.

If he or she doesn't choose to make an appearance within the next few days, we'll head to the hospital later this week for an induction. (The husband was glad to hear that "induction" is the official medical term rather than "inducement" since, as he pointed out, we've been trying inducement for days now, shouting at my belly, "Hey, come on out! Bush is out of office! We have great things out here like chocolate and video games!" These efforts, clearly, have been to no avail.)

So there you have it. Hopefully you'll see a blog post and/or e-mail (from him, clearly, not from me) by the end of the week. Thanks, as always, for the well wishes that you've been sending our way, and wish us luck!!!

1 in a Series of N

2009-01-07T12:21:00.004-06:00

Where N will, I assume, approach infinity. Theorizing that the likelihood of me being six months pregnant just in time for Halloween was unlikely to happen again, the husband and I decided that a theme costume was clearly in order. And, as such, I present the first photo which we have no doubt we will enjoy using to embarrass Ozmo during his or her adolescent years:

And for those who are wondering, that dress is not from a costume shop, but from a website that purports to sell actual maternity clothes. What you can't tell from the photo, sadly, is that it came down to the mid-thigh area, if that. And that the neckline was, um, deep. It was fascinating. And led to many jokes about how women who dress like that after becoming pregnant? Well, it's not hard to guess how they got that way (ruining my feminist cred a little here, but come on! it's just so easy!). Sadly, though, the sequins scratched my arms up so badly that the dress ended up in the dumpster the next morning, so I'm afraid you'll never get the chance to see it yourself.

Not much excuse for my silence over the last couple of months. Given that I pretty much spend my days incubating, it's not like I haven't had the time... but I suspect that's actually the reason for my lack of communication. After all, how many times can I say that my joints ache (to be expected), I'm pleased to have the time to cook a lot (although that's fading now that we're in the home stretch and I'm spending less and less time on my feet), and I thank my lucky stars for Netflix (speaking of which, "Weeds"? Is AWESOME. At least season 1 is.).

Anyway, not much else to say. The pregnancy has not been complication-free, and we got to know Prentice Women's Hospital much better than we wanted to much earlier than we wanted to. But all issues seem to have cleared themselves up, there was never an official period of bed rest, and we're feeling lucky for the support and good cheer of those around us. We're 12 days away from the due date, but we also know that first babies apparently frequently arrive late, so I'm preparing myself for the possibility of, say, 3-4 more weeks of sore knees and shoulders. Such is life.

See? This is not interesting. Pregnant prom photos, however? Those are TOTALLY interesting. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a second season to dig into.

Tiny Slices of History?

2008-11-17T13:27:00.003-06:00

This morning, I dropped the husband off downtown at his internship, in a government office surrounded by other government offices. I've done this many times before. This was the first time, however, that traffic was stopped at Adams and Dearborn by a traffic cop who waved a squad car over to block the intersection... after which three more squad cars passed through, followed by at least half a dozen enormous black SUVs piloted by beefy guys in dark suits and sunglasses. Bringing up the rear was a Chicago Trolley, which I first found incongruous, but then concluded was perhaps ferrying the press. All told, it delayed me maybe a minute total... and I thought, I guess this is what it's going to be like in Chicago for the next few months. And I was pleased all over again.

What I Learned Today

2008-10-27T14:49:00.002-05:00

It may not be the wisest decision in the world to send the pregnant woman shopping for the Halloween candy.

Inappropriate Responses

2008-10-06T16:53:00.002-05:00

In our weekly online survey (sent to folks who attend the show the weekend prior), we always ask if folks have "other things they'd like to share." I had one respondent today complete the entire survey, including the information that his/her household makes upwards of 100K/year (this will be relevant, I promise), and then comment: "Wish I could help you, but I skipped the show to watch the VP debate. I sure wish you had an exchange policy."

It is SO HARD not to e-mail back, "I sure wish you had a VCR or a DVR."

The This-Next Controversy Continues

2008-09-26T12:32:00.002-05:00

Conversation at work this morning:

Director of Development: Hey, Grants Writer, does Rosh Hashanah start this Monday or next Monday?
Grants Writer (who happens to be Jewish, clearly): ...do you mean... next Monday or the Monday after that?
DD: No - I mean this Monday or next Monday.
GW: But this Monday already happened.
DD: What? No, I mean...
Me (explosively, I will admit): No, GW, this Monday is the Monday that's three days from now, and next Monday is the Monday following that!
GW: No, this Monday is the Monday of this week, and next Monday is the Monday of next week.
Me: No, that is completely untrue.
Intern (not only doing awesome work for me, but also having my back, woo!): She's totally right about this, this Monday is the upcoming Monday.
DD: THANK YOU! I fight with my husband about this all the time!
Me: Yeah, well, tell him he's wrong. And GW is wrong, too.
GW: OK, clearly you've recently gotten into a fight about this very subject [funny, because he's occasionally read this blog...]. But I think I'm right and, DD, I'm going to call your husband and tell him he's right, too.
Me: No, you're wrong, and do I have to remind you that DD is your supervisor? I don't know if you want to be stirring up shit in her home life, given that she could make things difficult for you.
GW: ...Rosh Hashanah begins on Monday the 29th. Does that answer your question?
DD: Yes. Thank you.... MCM, do you have any documentation on this, so I can prove to my husband he's wrong?

And so I seem to have stumbled into a project....

Save Bitch!

2008-09-18T12:56:00.002-05:00

OK, I never imagined I'd be promoting a cause here, especially given that I have all of about 4 readers... but I think Bitch Magazine (subtitle: Feminist Response to Pop Culture) is a really important voice in today's climate, where feminism is either dismissed as irrelevant/outdated, dismissed as women being a bunch of whiny dykes or, in the last few weeks, weirdly co-opted by a woman whose history doesn't seem to imply all that much concern for women's rights.

I think Broadsheet puts it better than I can:

Bitch's themed issues -- on such broad and varied subjects as "Risk" and "Maturity & Immaturity" -- dissect the arts, the media and the larger cultural conversation through the lenses of gender and sexuality. The quarterly magazine is one of a very few remaining sources of sensible, contemporary, long-form feminist critique. While I don't always agree with Bitch's articles, the magazine unfailingly challenges me to think harder about the films I watch, the music I listen to, the news I read and the culture I live in.

Even if you don't give, check Bitch out, and tell other folks about it. I would consider just exposing more people to their awesome work an important victory....

Irrationally Annoyed (and Defensive!)

2008-09-16T12:53:00.002-05:00

So I just sent someone this e-mail:

You are all set with one ticket for next Sunday, 9/28.

And got this response:

that's 2 sundays from now. 9/28. thanks.

And I really really really want to write back and say, yes, that's next Sunday. THIS Sunday would be 9/21, whereas NEXT Sunday is 9/28. And why do people always get that confused? Seriously, it's not that hard! And now you think I'M the dumb-ass when, in reality, clearly it is YOU who are the dumb-ass! And yes, the correct verb there is ARE, not IS, because it corresponds with YOU. RAR!

In the interest of keeping the peace, though, I should probably just ignore it.

Neither H, nor N-E....

2008-09-08T11:32:00.003-05:00

When the husband and I were married, we were committed, first and foremost, to each other. We wanted to celebrate each other, and our life together, to the fullest before we even considered having children.

And when I say "considered," please know that that word is chosen very carefully. We went into our marriage knowing that nothing was a foregone conclusion. Frankly, it bothers me that so many people assume that having children is simply "what you do" after committing your life to another person (the same way it bothers me when women don't, for even a moment, stop and question whether they should take their husband's name upon marriage... but that's another discussion for another day).

It is a HUGE decision, not one to be entered into lightly. And it's certainly not a task that everyone is up for. Some people recognize that, and choose to opt out of parenthood, and are inevitably told that they will regret their decision some day. Other people go ahead and have kids, having had it drilled into them that it is the "right" thing to do, and never stop to question whether it's the right thing for them, for their marriage, for their life plans, or for the children in question. We didn't want to be those people - we wanted to make decisions on our terms and, if we did choose to have children, wait until we felt we were ready.

And we told people that - "don't assume we're going to have children." That phrase came out of both of our mouths several times, particularly in the first year or two of our marriage.

Many people took that to mean "we aren't going to have children." It makes me sad that we live in a society where people really do equate "I'm not chomping at the bit to reproduce right now, please don't make any assumptions about our future plans" with "I have no intention of having children, ever." One family member recently said to me, "You were so adamant about not having children!" Frankly, I got defensive upon hearing that, and responded, "No, that was never true. We were adamant that no one should make assumptions one way or the other."

We've talked about what the right choice is for us for quite a while. And we began referring to a future with HNEC... our Hypothetical, Non-Existent Child. Potential career changes? "Well, if you got a new job, maybe it would make sense for me to work part-time and spend some of my time with HNEC." The possibility of another pet? "I don't know, Floyd might have to get used to HNEC at some point, too." Moving? "Well, there's the chance we'd need another room for HNEC."

HNEC became a topic of conversation more and more often. Until the revelation that we probably shouldn't refer to it as HNEC any longer when it became neither hypothetical nor non-existent.

So now, five months in, we're calling it Osmodiar. Osmo for short.

Living the Dream

2008-09-03T14:17:00.002-05:00

In one of Chicago's tonier suburbs over the weekend, I saw a fancy-schmancy new Lexus with a vanity license plate reading CLICHE.

I couldn't decide whether I found it amusing or ridiculous.

On Pet Ownership

2008-08-21T12:47:00.001-05:00

At about 5:30 this morning, my cat sneezed.

I know this because his face was about 2 inches from mine at the time.

Ah, feline saliva....

An Addendum

2008-08-21T12:45:00.003-05:00

Two conversations I inexplicably left out the first time around:

Playing cards with I and H when C asks to play, too. We end up inventing a game in which H shows him a card and if he correctly identifies it, he gets to have it. "Fwee!" he cries. "Four! A!" Until we get to Eight. He stares for a moment, furrows his little brow, purses his little lips and then, shaking his head slightly, declares, "I don't want that one."
And a quote from C after he emerges from the bathroom: "There was a lot of pee in there! It was good to get it out."

Conversations with Boys

2008-08-18T14:37:00.004-05:00

Just spent a delightful 4 days in Wisconsin with (almost) the whole family, including all four nephews. Some conversational highlights include:

The husband comes outside with a cookie in hand.
3-year-old C: Hey, can I have some of that?
The husband: Sure, you can have a little piece.
C: What is it, though?
H: ...a cookie. You didn't know what it was when you asked for it?
C: [no answer, just wanders away chewing thoughtfully]

H to 5-year-old D: So what do you like best about being here?
D: I like you. Also, I like him [pointing to his grandfather], her [to his aunt]... wait... [counting everyone in the room] I like seven people!

Me to C: Hey, C, how's your morning going?
C: I'm not C! I'm THE FWASH!
Me: OK, then. [20 minutes later] Hey, Flash, what are you doing?
C: I'm not Fwash! I'm Supaboy!

D to his father, I: Can I be excused to go to the playground?
I: Tell you what - stay here long enough to order your own ice cream cone, and then you can take it out to the playground.
D: But I wanna go out NOW!
I: I know, but you have to carry your own dessert outside, that's all.
D: But I wanna go to the playground!
I: And you will, I just want you to order your ice cream first.
D: No, but I want the PLAYGROUND!
I: ...Um, okay. I'm offering you ice cream AND the playground, though.
D: I WANT TO GO TO THE PLAYGROUND. And I'm ONLY having ice cream if you MAKE ME STAY INSIDE.
I: All right, then. Don't have any ice cream, feel free to go outside.
D: Thank you.
I to me: ...That didn't make any sense, right?

The logic of boys is curious indeed. Still, though, they make for better conversation partners than their 13-month-old cousins, whose vocabularies pretty much consist of "Duck," "Ma," and "bllrghsagrblblbl."

Two Awesome Things That Happened This Morning

2008-07-15T10:30:00.002-05:00

1. I finally (finally!) had the opportunity to sample a Vosges Haut Chocolat Bacon Bar. And seriously, you guys? Oh. My. God. The problem is that now I feel the urge to spend hundreds of dollars at Vosges.

2. A coworker and I bonded over the fact that we have both been known to purposely aggressively shave over mosquito bites on our legs, scraping off the tops of the bites, to alleviate the itching. OK, this one is simultaneously disturbing and awesome. But awesome nonetheless.

Hippies and Highs in the 60s

2008-06-30T10:59:00.003-05:00

In SF visiting the husband for the whole week, which is nice. We went to the Symphony Saturday night for a performance of Dvorak's cello concerto, which was fine, and Lutoslawski's Mi Parti, which was amazing and a really exciting find.

It's always a challenge to dress when I'm away from home. Somehow I just never seem to pack right. I had my adorable grey sweater dress with me, but couldn't find the black wrap to go over it, and immediately wished that I had packed my black boots about which Kathy says, "There is nothing bad about those boots!" I made do with a black cardigan and pumps but, frankly, I was feeling self-conscious and not particularly well-put-together.

Until we walked in the box office door and landed in line right behind a woman who had gotten all decked out in a bright purple cotton skirt, a jacket whose tie-dying may well have been an at-home job, and a well-worn pair of Birkenstocks. And that wasn't even the worst outfit we saw that evening. An upside to being in a city full of hippies, I guess, you never have to feel self-conscious.

And speaking of being in a city full of hippies, I am really trying to identify why it inspires the passionate fervor it does. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's a perfectly cromulent city; I just don't see why people love it so obsessively, refuse to live anywhere else, say, "Oh, your husband's spending the summer in San Francisco? At least you get to visit him there, I mean - San Francisco!!!"

The husband has asked a few folks why they consider it their favorite city, why they love it as much as they do, and thus far the answer seems to be "the weather."

The weather? Really? I call shenanigans. You don't get to be a world-class, adored city because you eschew seasons. I'm asking you, my four (five?) readers for your thoughts... tell me why I should love San Francisco above all other cities!

Awesome E-mail of the Day

2008-06-24T13:28:00.001-05:00

"Thank you so much for this information. I will defiantly look into this."

Blogiversary

2008-06-20T11:18:00.001-05:00

And only now, of course, am I startled by the revelation that today is Ozzily's second birthday. Phew, I'm glad I picked today to start posting again. Otherwise, this might have gone completely unnoticed.

Which, of course, would probably have been better.

Traveling, Produce, Whatnot

2008-06-20T10:29:00.003-05:00

Wow, it's been a month. And I feel like I've had things to say, but not found the time to say them. And now that I find myself with five minutes? Nothing.

Things have been complicated of late by the husband's temporary relocation to California. I believe most folks who might be reading this know that he has taken off to the Bay Area for 10 weeks for a summer associateship. I suppose if you didn't know that, well, you do now.

I headed out to visit last weekend, and will be there for the entire week of July 4th. We'll end up seeing each other every other weekend, in fact. Still sucks, though. Less than when we were long-distance for 2 years, I guess, but... yeah.

And what else have I been up to? Some work ridiculousness, lots of time reassuring the cat (who is feeling put upon that his playtime buddy is not here to throw him a toy mouse the right way - my way is, apparently, wrong), and just trying to catch up on some things around the house, I guess. I don't feel I have much to show for my month of silence.

I am pleased to report that the season's CSA shares started up again a couple of weeks ago. My awesome stepsister got me some fabulous cookbooks in preparation for the growing season. I am excited to really dig into them (I've stocked up on quinoa, farro, and other crazy grains)... but thus far, I've just been excited to make big ol' veggie sandwiches and lots of sauteed spinach. I'll get more adventurous with the next batch!

Important Questions for Our Times

2008-05-21T12:41:00.001-05:00

Why is it that people so very often reply-all when it's totally inappropriate?

And then people fail to reply-all when it would make life so much easier for all involved?

What's that about?

2008-05-15T10:23:00.003-05:00

So I heard this NPR story recently about the first white valedictorian to graduate from Morehouse, a historically black college. Interesting stuff, but the item that caught my attention was when the interviewer asked him something to the extent of, "Do you feel you've got a unique perspective, being the very rare white person who has been in the minority?"

What's your reaction to that? Because I immediately thought, well, it's not that rare. What about homo- and bisexuals, Jews, women in science, men in nursing? I'm not sure if the interviewer meant racial minority, specifically, but just didn't say it, or if she genuinely doesn't think that people in those situations are, in fact, minorities. I'm intrigued to hear other people's thoughts.

He is a Fan of the Old School Musicals

2008-05-14T16:35:00.002-05:00

Earlier today, our box office manager was on the phone with a patron when we heard the following:

"My name is Tristan. Tristan. With a T. Tristan. That's T as in top hat, R as in rice cake, I as in igloo, S as in snake, T as in top hat, A as in Annie Get Your Gun, N as in Nancy. Uh-huh, Tristan."

I think what surprised me most was the sheer banality of "snake" and "Nancy."

Eyelashes!

2008-05-12T15:04:00.004-05:00

Ok, this has bugged me for years. How come, when an actor is playing someone going through chemotheraphy, he/she will frequently shave his/her head, but do nothing about the eyebrows and eyelashes? What mythical world do these people live in that chemo completely eliminates all the hair on the top and back of the head, but none on the front???

Am I the only person that gets bothered by this?

And is it sad that this is the first thing that I've posted in six weeks? It's not that I haven't been inspired... it's just that I'm always inspired when I'm way too far away from a computer to do anything about it.

This chemo thing, though? This has stuck with me for DAYS.

It's What You Believe, Not What You Know

2008-03-27T10:44:00.002-05:00

Last night, the husband recounted a conversation he had had with a friend who mentioned that she does not consider herself a feminist. Given that she definitely doesn't believe in gender roles, he found that sort of surprising and said as much. She replied that she's not anti-feminist - rather, the reason that she doesn't call herself a feminist is that she hasn't studied the movement and, without that academic knowledge, doesn't really feel she knows what the word means, and therefore doesn't feel qualified to call herself a feminist.

My first response was to tell him about Sarah Bunting's amazing essay "Yes, You Are," and to suggest he forward it to her - it's a wonderful piece that I think perfectly addresses people's concerns about what feminists are supposed to be, look like, or do. That said, while I am nowhere near as eloquent as Sars, I found I had a few more thoughts on the subject.

Feminism does have a history, sure, and it's sort of complicated, but I would argue that knowing that history is not required to be a feminist: it's what you believe, not what you know. After all, you don't have to know details about Jim Crow laws to be a racist, or be able to recite facts about the crusades to be a Christian.

Sure, it might be handy to know some of the history if you're trying to state your case. For example, just three generations ago, women were not legally allowed to own property, and may have been considered property themselves... and today, just outside Chicago, the town of Aurora has been doing its damnedest for months to keep Planned Parenthood from opening an abortion clinic which would also provide much needed information about contraception and general health issues. But those are just facts. They're not beliefs.

Beliefs come from the confusion you felt at age 9 when someone told you girls couldn't be doctors, girls had to be nurses. Beliefs come from the anger that boils up when someone mentions Hillary Clinton's fat ass and you just know no one gives a damn about McCain's ass. Beliefs come from the defensiveness you feel on your brother's behalf when people smirk upon learning he's a stay-at-home dad. Beliefs come from your being told, over and over, that girls should just smooth things over, they shouldn't stir up trouble or raise their voices. Beliefs come from your amazement at the sheer number of rape cases which still address the alleged victim's sexual history, or what she was wearing. Beliefs come from your own shock, even years later, at how badly you allowed your high school boyfriend to mistreat you, because you thought that, as a woman, hanging onto your boyfriend should be among your primary goals. Beliefs come from the fact that you can't bring yourself to be friends with one of your husband's friends because it just makes you want to cry that he has said, flat out, he does not think he could ever work for a female boss.

At least, that's a little bit of where my beliefs came from. And sure, I took several women's studies classes in college - and some of them were great, and some of them sucked, but they're not what made me a feminist. You don't need women's studies classes to be a feminist. You don't need a college degree. You don't even need a high school diploma. You just need to look around you and decide that the jokes, the stereotypes, the behavior that you see just might mean that, despite all the important strides that have been made over the last several decades, there's still more work to be done to attain gender equality. And it's still incredibly important work, too.

It's what you believe, not what you know.

Drunken Shenanigans (Not Mine!)

2008-03-16T10:59:00.004-05:00

So the husband needed new pants prior to our leaving for vacation tomorrow. He also had a credit to use up at the menswear haven that is Jos. A. Banks. Two birds, one stone, we headed downtown around 11:15 am to pop in, buy pants, grab lunch at Hannah's Bretzel (so delicious!), head home. Easy! Except...

Question: Who's a bad Irish-American girl?
Answer: The one who forgets to account for the freakin' St. Patrick's Day parade when making her plans.

Yeah. We parked on lower Wacker, and, upon climbing the stairs to the surface world, were greeted with green antenna headbands, green hats in the shape of beer mugs, green feather boas. And, of course, we were immediately filled with hate.

But we would not be deterred. We made it the six blocks to Jos. A. Banks (the husband had the genius idea to cut through the Chicago Cultural Center for one of those blocks, providing a blissful respite from the idiocy outside), met Bob the sales guy, found a great pair of pants, realized they needed to be hemmed, left them with Bob the sales guy to complete that task, and headed over to Hannah's.

After lunch, as we returned to pick up the new pants, the parade had clearly just broken up. The crowds had dispersed, and people were heading west, back to their cars, the L, whatever.

And one young green-sweatshirted woman was, it seemed, heading west directly into Jos. A. Bank. As we walked in the door, she was just a few feet behind us. Later, the husband and I discussed the fact that we both found ourselves hoping, "Maybe she's shopping for someone, or asking directions, or something else legitimate!"

That hope was proven futile when she began to weave past the suit display, brushing up against the sport coats, and then stumbled right into a wall. Unfazed, she picked herself back up, and continued on her journey... beelining right into one of the dressing rooms, slamming the door shut behind her.

So the husband picked up his pants, and then mentioned to Bob that we had seen a reveler stumble into one of the dressing rooms, and that perhaps he should check on her. We didn't stick around to see the outcome, but we like to think that, at best, we saved a young woman's life yesterday. At worst, we saved a dressing room floor from being painted with vomit. Either way, we like to think it was a mitzvah.

And with that, we're off to Florida for five days.

Why, Yes, I Am Both a Feminist and a Man-Lover

2008-02-15T09:36:00.003-06:00

So I occasionally read the blog of an acquaintance from business school. Nice enough woman, we weren't particularly close, but she's a decent writer and often posts lovely photos, which is enough to pique my attention on slow afternoons.

She has been proudly declaring her support for Hillary Clinton for the past several weeks. Whether I agree with her opinion or not, I have to respect anyone in our age group who's both politically aware enough and secure enough to actively campaign for any candidate, and it's been interesting reading her viewpoints.

But yesterday, there was a post which just made me incredibly frustrated. It started out declaring, "I am not a feminist, never have been, never will be. But I am sickened by how Hillary Clinton is being portrayed in the media." She went on to illustrate several incidents which speak to the sexist attitudes which have come front and center (a bystander shouting, "Iron my shirt!", t-shirts and stickers which advocate violence towards her, McCain not correcting a questioner who referred to her as "the bitch," arbitrary, unnecessary observations about her "thick ankles," etc.). It was all I could do not to leave a comment on the blog pointing out these were inherently feminist statements: her anger about double standards, her rage that, in this day and age, a woman's qualifications could be openly questioned simply by virtue of her being a woman, her incredulity at other people's willingness to laugh this type of thing off.

I was talking about it to the husband over dinner. "The thing is, if we were closer, I might have done it, but I just know that the word 'feminist' causes such a knee-jerk reaction, I think I might do more harm than good."

"Write her an e-mail," he suggested, "saying you don't want to be contrary, but you think she's raised an interesting point, and asking her whose definition of feminism she's going by. I mean, if she's assuming that 'feminist' actually means hairy-legged, man-hating liberals, well, that's the definition that's being propagated by the people who hate feminism... and why should those people be allowed to define it? Sure, every movement has some extremists, and there probably are a handful of feminists who fit that mold - but being willing to unquestioningly accept that definition probably isn't the best idea."

And then, after a few more minutes of conversation:

"Feel free to post this conversation on your blog, by the way, with the subject line, 'Why I Love My Husband.'"

And people wonder why I bought him a "Feminist Chicks Dig Me" t-shirt.

My Venn Diagram Once Again Crosses Gender Roles and Pop Culture

2008-01-17T09:25:00.000-06:00

So I watched an episode of the new American Gladiators last week (it was like a return to the Saturday mornings of middle school!... which isn't necessarily a good thing).

I was struck by the fact that while both the male competitors had other careers (an engineer and something to do with radiation testing, if I remember correctly), both of the female competitors were, for all intents and purposes, professional athletes (a martial arts instructor and a gymnastics coach). I wonder about the disparity there - is it harder to find professional women who are just really into working out and competition? Are they out there, but simply not up to par? Are women who are very athletic simply less likely to be excessively competitive than men?

And why were the women much more likely to talk about how fun it is, and how they just want to do their best, while the men were more prone to discussions of how much ass they plan to kick? - is that an accurate representation, or conscious editing due to producers' own judgments and biases?

Also, they hit each other a lot. And that's cool.

(Also also? My friend Kat would KICK ASS on this show. I should totally e-mail her and try to convince her to try out.)

Just Today? or Forever?

2007-12-12T14:21:00.000-06:00

After sending out a mass e-mail today we received, as always, a big pile of out-of-office auto-replies, a couple of please-remove-me requests, and one response (not automated) that said, simply, "Piss off." And I honestly can't decide whether that means the sender wants me to remove her from the mailing list, or if she's just having a bad day and taking it out on us.

One of the Reasons I Like My Job

2007-12-11T09:59:00.001-06:00

Spoken by the Director of Development to me, my intern, and two coworkers: "Hey, I'm about to start calling prospective donors, so can you guys quiet down about the puppet sex?"

I Need to Better Separate My Politics from My Escapist TV

2007-12-06T14:22:00.000-06:00

So there I was, watching Private Practice. You know, this show is not very good, and I don't know why I keep watching it. (I'm lying, I totally do - it's because of my ongoing obsession with Paul Adelstein.) And two things kept going through my head:

First, damn, Owen really is working a lot, Adam wasn't lying. He seems to be everywhere.

Second, what's up with a society and an entertainment industry that continue to tell women that they are not real women if they don't reproduce "naturally"? Watching Addison root around for Owen's one remaining swimmer so it could be implanted in Wife of Owen's egg, I just got more and more annoyed, rather than feeling the warm fuzzies this successful fertilization was supposed to inspire.

Maybe it's because I have been personally affected by this issue of late (no, the husband and I are not in the throes of trying to reproduce, rather I have seen people I know and love going through similar trials). It breaks my heart to see all these women/couples going through hell and high water to conceive - both for them, and for the unwanted children who aren't getting adopted because they wouldn't be "theirs." And maybe I'm less sensitive because, no, I have not gone through the trauma of trying and failing to conceive, and maybe if I did, I'd feel differently.

The other thing that irks, though, is that while all the feminist writers and bloggers are up in arms (correctly, I think) about all the films that don't present abortion as a reasonable, viable option (most recently Knocked Up and Waitress), no one seems to be addressing the fact that this idea of pregnancy as the end-all and be-all road to motherhood is permeating our culture as well. In hearing about the tens of thousands of dollars women are spending on invasive fertility-enhancing procedures, I can't help but wonder if those women are, at a basic level, really meant to be carrying children to term. I'm reminded of Patton Oswalt's line in reference to sexagenarian mothers: "Science is all about coulda, not shoulda."

And watching Private Practice, it was very clear that we were meant to celebrate Owen's and Wife of Owen's conclusion that they could not abide even the thought of adoption or artificial insemination. Not that they considered either option and decided it wasn't for them, but that, at their very cores, they just couldn't fathom having a baby that wasn't "theirs." And it pissed me off.

And also? Private Practice is not a very good show. Paul Adelstein, however, rocks.

Go Jumbos!

2007-11-28T08:35:00.001-06:00

Tufts was prominently featured on last night's episode of Beauty and the Geek, as gender-role-reversing team Nicole and Sam headed to Somerville for a one-day taste of her everyday, geeky life. A music theory grad student, she showed him the fancy-schmancy new music building and performance hall, and damn if it didn't actually look pretty impressive. I don't know if I'm more thrilled by the good publicity she's giving Tufts, or by the fact that she quite regularly wears the same "Reading is Sexy" shirt that I do (having received it as a gift from the husband two birthdays ago). I also don't know exactly how embarrassed I should be by my excitement.

Either way, Tufts geeks represent.

On Drug Use

2007-11-24T10:36:00.000-06:00

In this season of excessive eating, I've had an important revelation:

It's a good thing I never got into pot, because given how much I eat when I'm in a sober state, I can't even imagine how huge I'd be if I were a stoner.

It's Just What I Need

2007-11-11T14:15:00.001-06:00

The scene: I am sitting on the couch stickering* with Bring It On happily ensconced in the DVD player. The husband wanders out from the office and watches me singing along to "You're Just What I Need," the song that Cliff writes for Torrance to encourage her in getting through her cheerleading woes.

The Husband: Do you own the soundtrack to this movie?
Me: Yeah, but this song isn't on it, which really pisses me off.

And then I continue singing along. Because I know all the words. At which point it begins to dawn on me that perhaps I've watched Bring It On too many times....

*over 5,000 cards stickered and counting! No thanks to Bring It On, though, productivity was dismally low during that one, because I have to watch all the cheerleading scenes and the entire Sparky Palastri sequence....

Hostile Seven What Now?

2007-11-09T15:37:00.000-06:00

I wore my Hostile 17 shirt to work today. 2 or 3 people complimented me on it, and I was pleased to be surrounded by fellow dorks. However, when someone else asked me what it meant, it turned out that the 2 or 3 people who had complimented it had no idea it was an allusion to anything, they just thought it was a cool shirt. And I don't know if that's more or less weird than my previous assumption that that many people were into Buffy.

Anyway, my response was to seek out solace from the coworker who uses "frakking " quite regularly, because I knew he'd understand.

Things I Learn

2007-11-05T22:53:00.001-06:00

There is busy work to be done. For reasons far too boring to go into, I have about three weeks to make sure thousands of stickers are affixed to thousands of postcards. While some of this can and will be done by our fabulous intern, I had the revelation recently that, sadly, her two days a week will not be enough time to complete the busy work that must be done.

With that in mind, and knowing that the husband would be out tonight, I brought a stack of the busy work home tonight, figuring I could throw in a couple of DVDs I know fairly well to keep me entertained, but not distracted, while accomplishing the task at hand. And as a result, this is what I have learned about myself:

I am incapable of taking Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle out of the DVD player without watching the deleted scene featuring a dancing Eddie Kaye Thomas and David Krumholtz
I am insanely curious about whether NPH's real-life coming-out will be a plot device in Harold and Kumar 2
I must focus all my attention on the screen during the scene in Can't Hardly Wait in which Charlie Korsmo sings Paradise City
I continue to believe that the relationship between Denise and Kenny is FAR more interesting, relevant, and believable than the one between Preston and Amanda (although Ethan Embry is adorable)
I'm a little shocked and embarrassed that this is the first time I noticed that the guy who played Owen in "Never Kill a Boy on the First Date" is one of the guys who hits on Jennifer Love Hewitt after her confrontation with Peter Facinelli
Whenever I see Peter Facinelli in anything, I find myself wondering if he and Jennie Garth are still married (it would appear they are, in case you wonder as well)
I get defensive about the cat being angry at me because there is no room in my lap for him to cuddle in, and end up talking to him about it; he does not seem to care for my explanations
It takes me three hours and two glasses of wine to stick 800 stickers to 800 postcards... I guess I'm glad we have a fairly sizeable DVD library (it's going to be a long few weeks)

I have other things to say... just not finding the time to say them. Will work on getting better about it.

Statement Made to Me by a Coworker Not Three Hours Ago

2007-10-03T15:07:00.001-05:00

"You know what I like about you? You curse like a sailor.

I'm not being facetious, either."

Oh, the power...

2007-09-09T15:20:00.001-05:00

The husband and I drive a 2000 Honda Civic named Fray. She is a good, sturdy little car, gets excellent mileage, and meets every need we urbanites have. I do not at all feel the need to trade her in for something bigger, and will certainly admit to feeling a condescending smugness when I see people tooling around in their SUVs, Jeeps, and Hummers.

And yet.

Because Fray is a shared vehicle, when I found myself needing to run an errand for work last week, of course the husband had her at school. So I ended up taking out the shop truck.

The big ol' Chevrolet open-back pick-up truck.

And I must say, there is definitely a certain excitement that comes from gazing down upon everyone else as you cruise down Milwaukee Avenue in your GIANT TRUCK. A little Freudian? Probably. Exciting nonetheless? Definitely.

Quote of the Week

2007-09-09T15:18:00.000-05:00

"It's just plain irresponsible to market something as being based on fairy tales if it's not for children!"

What I wish I had said: "I'm sorry, do you have any concept of who the Brothers Grimm were at all?"

Fast Food Downfall!

2007-07-24T15:34:00.000-05:00

1. As a general rule, I am not a fan or a regular consumer of fast food. It's something I eat in rare circumstances when convenience legitimately renders it the most practical choice, but I believe my friend Doug put it best when he referred to a quick stop (while trying to get to our destination, a ski resort, ASAP) as "dinner of shame."

2. As a general rule, if I have to eat fast food, I prefer Wendy's. For some reason, it just seems a little fresher and tastier.

3. The exception to these "general rules"? McDonald's breakfast. For reasons I cannot fathom or explain, I am a SUCKER for a sausage biscuit and a hash brown stick. It's one of the only good things about flying out of O'Hare early in the morning - I have an excuse to eat McDonald's breakfast. However, that probably happens only 2-3 times per year, if that.

Items 2 and 3 seem to be forming something of a perfect storm in my life: the Wendy's that I walk past every day on my way to work recently became one of the locations testing the breakfast menu. I have, thus far, resisted the temptation to actually try a frescuit... but I fear this could be my fast food downfall.

On Little People

2007-07-23T16:09:00.000-05:00

This morning I saw a medical transport vehicle (not a full-on ambulance, just a converted van) with the words "Wee Care" on the side. And I gave myself the giggles wondering if it provided medical care only for dwarfs.

And from there I went back to wondering about what I began wondering about upon seeing the preview for Fred Claus last weekend: given that dwarfs represent an ever-decreasing percentage of the U.S. population*, do films like Fred Claus have difficulty finding extras? or do they just rely on CGI little people? Seriously, this is of interest to me.

And then, on the subject of dwarfs in film, my mind naturally turned to Peter Dinklage, and how awesome he is, and how pissed off I am that it seems like right now nobody in the entertainment industry can figure out what to do with him, except the producers of Threshold, but then Threshold got canceled, and now, as a result, he's reduced to doing Underdog, which is just appalling!

These are the things that occupy me on my way to work.

*OK, I can't find any confirmation on this, but I know I read it somewhere

"She's Not Family"

2007-07-16T15:15:00.000-05:00

So at Pitchfork on Saturday, a couple of acquaintances (friends of friends, they're almost friends of ours at this point, but not quite, I guess) were there with their 2-1/2-year-old daughter. As much as I had shuddered upon seeing people there with toddlers earlier in the day, this family seemed to have the right idea - Dad was there the whole weekend, while Mom and Daughter came only for Saturday afternoon; they set up camp and one of the parental units was always keeping the toddler entertained, only occasionally bringing her to see bands, and even then, backing off when she got fussy.

Anyway, that's nothing more than a set-up for this story - she took a liking to me, for some reason (my rampant immaturity, most likely), and somehow, we wound up playing a game she called airplane: she'd balance her little feet in my hands, then sort of half-stand up, then I'd swing her around while she cried, "I'm a airplane!" It was a good time. (And yes, I'm totally serious.)

Anyway, every time I put her down, she would scramble up and say, "I would like to be a airplane again, please." At some point, her dad got concerned that she was overstaying her welcome (even though she totally wasn't) and told her, "I think you can ask to be an airplane two more times, and after that you're done. You can't ask to play too much, because she's not family, okay?"

It was a long time later when it occurred to me that, essentially, he was telling her that bugging her aunts, uncles, and other family members for however long she wanted to would be okay. I hope that works out well for him.

Again, I am Behind the Times on Fashion

2007-07-14T08:17:00.000-05:00

Last year, after Pitchfork, I groused (like the cranky old lady I am) about the sheer number of people inexplicably wearing tube socks.

This year, it would appear that cowboy boots with skirts and shorts are the new tube socks.

D'oh

2007-07-14T08:14:00.001-05:00

Yesterday, my legs were sore all day.

It was several hours before it occurred to me that it might have something to do with having walked down 17 flights of stairs the night before....

Independence Day Brings New Nephews!

2007-07-08T13:07:00.000-05:00

Welcome to the world, William Dern Reynolds and Quinn Corcoran Reynolds!

Greens, Greens, and Nothing but Greens....

2007-06-25T11:39:00.000-05:00

So the husband and I joined a CSA - a community-supported agriculture program. Or, rather, I joined a CSA with money that belongs to both of us, and he thought that was a dandy idea as long as I continue to cook while he does the dishes. And I was VERY excited. After reading What to Eat and The Omnivore's Dilemma and all kinds of other foodie journalism, I was really quite thrilled with the idea of uber-fresh, locally-grown produce.

But truth be told, I was a little nervous, too. "You realize," I told the husband over and over, "this means we can't just bag on dinner and order out on a whim. We have to actually EAT this stuff. That's the point." He seemed unperturbed, so I continued forward with the plan, secretly wondering if would have the wherewithal to turn a giant box of vegetables into... you know, food.

I am pleased to report that, after our first delivery last Wednesday, I have cooked pasta with kale and arugula; cous-cous with chickpeas, kale, and spinach; a delectable spinach-artichoke-goat-cheese sandwich; a beautiful, ginormous salad (though the husband could have done without quite so many radishes); and a rhubarb-strawberry crisp. Also, fried eggs, at which time we discovered that farm-fresh eggs really ARE better than grocery store eggs. I still have a few lettuce leaves and sprouts to use up (but those will likely go on sandwiches), as well as some scallions, chives, and strawberries... but overall, I am pleased with my efforts.

Bureaucracy Works for Me!

2007-06-25T11:37:00.000-05:00

Just returned from the IL Secretary of State's office in downtown Chicago, where I was pleased to discover that I only had to pay $5 for a new copy of my license, and more importantly? I didn't have to sit for the damn photo again! (Which is good, because I am not having a good hair day.) But perhaps most amazingly: the woman who helped me was competent, friendly, and had me out the door within 10 minutes.

Perspective

2007-06-15T09:29:00.000-05:00

A stranger tried to help me last night.

His name was Harvey, and he was from Delaware. I wish I could remember their last name, and his wife's name, but it's all too blurry. I wish I could have done more to thank them, and everyone else who helped me, or at least tried.

We were downtown - tourist central - for a group dinner, but we had about an hour to kill. The husband wanted to check out one of his favorite record stores, and I, knowing my proclivity to mark such shopping trips by repeating, "Are we done yet? Are we done yet? Are we done yet?" decided to wait for him in the park across the street. Not really a park in the strictest sense of the word, but a nice little green space maintained by the office building there. It's a routine we've perfected by now.

Sitting in the grass, calling a dear business school friend for some business school gossip, settling in, hmmm, put the phone in the purse or in the pocket? - pocket it is, get the book out, get myself settled, should I sit cross-legged or lie on my stomach? and is the bookmark in the right place or did it fall out and -

9 times out of 10, when I'm sitting in a park, even in a great neighborhood in broad daylight, I keep my purse strap looped around my arm or my leg, just as a precaution. I hadn't quite gotten there yet, as I was continuing to settle, and he knew it. He is clearly very good at what he does.

Without any warning, suddenly, there he was, sprinting past me, grabbed the purse strap smoothly, quickly, efficiently. Definitely a professional, quite frankly. I didn't even stop to think. I didn't decide to pursue him, I just did, shouting at the top of my lungs as I did so, a block east, screaming, running, I think even gaining on him a little bit.

Until we got to the stairs. He has clearly navigated this route, these stairs, many times, and he was down them and into lower Wabash, underneath the bridge, with precision. I don't know the stairs so well. The stairs tripped me up, and down I went. I scrambled up again, chin sore, everything else fine, still shouting, ready to start running again, but - glasses. Damn. I suddenly realized everything was blurry, and saw them, three stairs down, having flown off my face when I tumbled.

As I put them back on and regained my vision, I knew I was out of luck. I jogged across the street, hoping some good Samaritan had stopped him on lower Wabash, but no such luck. I saw people seeing me, I saw delivery trucks that I knew had witnessed the whole thing... but I did not see the guy in the white t-shirt holding the Kate Spade knock-off. I did not see anyone restraining him.

I wearily climbed up the stairs. I jogged back towards where I had been sitting - I had left behind my shoes, my book, the husband's bag with our recently purchased comics. I was discouraged, definitely in a bit of pain, angry.

And then the bus boys from the Thai restaurant across the street appeared - "Was it you, lady? He stole your purse? He went this way." One of them took off jogging, came back, apologizing, he couldn't see where the guy had went. The other put a hand on my shoulder to guide me back towards where I had been sitting. "We have to get back inside, but we'll look for him. Did you call the police? You should call the police."

Cell phone out of the pocket. "911, what is your emergency?" I found myself surprisingly calm - by my own standards for myself, I mean - as I started explaining the situation, stumbling back towards my original reading spot. Suddenly a 50ish woman appeared. "I already called and reported this, tell them there's something in the system about it already. My husband went after the guy - I don't know where he is, but he's a runner, I know he can catch him." The good Samaritans I had not seen earlier were there, and were amazing.

Harvey did not catch the guy. He was extremely frustrated by this fact ("these shoes! if only I weren't wearing these shoes!") but was sure that he had seen the building the guy ducked into. The corner-windshield-squeegee guy flagged down a passing cop car, who responded quickly, and went with Harvey to the building in question. While they searched, Harvey returned, as his wife told me, "He once had a situation where he didn't help a girl... and he said 'Never again.'" "We were in an alley," Harvey told me, "she was a young girl, in her 20s. I mean, I said, 'Are you all right?' and she said yes. I didn't realize that the guy had a knife to her. I didn't know. But I said never again. These shoes were too slippery - I'm a runner, but these shoes...."

It's ok, I told him, you've been amazing. And he had been. He is, they both are. They promised not to return to Delaware and tell all their friends that Chicago is full of purse-snatchers - they understand that it's just part of city living, but they still wish it hadn't happened to me. Harvey's wife handed me a small travel pack of Kleenex, only one or two left, for my chin, which I finally realized was bleeding rather profusely. Another woman offered to run to Walgreen's to get me bandages - no, I said, the husband would be back shortly, we'd just head home (the husband was having none of "just heading home," however, as he is smart like that). Two other men told me they had circled to the other side of the alley, in case the guy came out there, but he hadn't - strengthening the theory about him being in the building. After I bled through Harvey's wife's Kleenex, the windshield-squeegee guy brought me half a dozen more. For him, that's part of his livelihood. I wanted to offer to pay him for them, but I worried that might be patronizing.

I never imagined the husband would be capable of striking out at someone else. Seeing his frustration, his anger, his sorrow, I'm not sure I feel that way anymore. I think if, somehow, he had been able to find the guy, he would have raised holy hell. Even as a hardened feminist, it's nice to know that my man wants to stand up for me.

The crowd drifted away... squeegee guy had squeegeeing to do, Harvey and his wife had dinner reservations at Shaw's. Everyone had somewhere to be. It turned back into just another Thursday night for them. I hope, though, that somewhere they feel really good about what they did. I wish I had a way to tell them how much they helped, as did the ER triage nurse who made me laugh, the medical technicians who were amazed that I had actually tried to chase down a purse snatcher, the cop who reminded me that, even though I had my credit card numbers at home, I could call and get the cards cancelled without them, the landlord who, when we called to ask about getting the locks changed (having lost both house keys, and ID with my home address) responded with concern about me, and refusing the husband's offer to pay for the lock change.

And, of course, the husband. The husband who called and cancelled my REI Visa so that I could talk to the ER. The husband who made me laugh by reading to me from John Hodgman's 700 Hobo Names while waiting for the doctor. The husband who let me nearly break his fingers while I squeezed his hand as they cleaned out the gash on my chin. The husband who went to the bar down the street to buy me mac and cheese with mushrooms when we finally got home at 10:00 pm. The husband who, while expressing concern about its blood-thinning tendencies, agreed that I had probably earned a beer. The husband who provided many, many, many hugs. He's pretty much the best thing I could have asked for last night.

And in the end, there it is: perspective. OK, I'm out $50 (plus whatever the medical attention costs me), a cheap purse, and an iPod. But I was reminded that I married the most wonderful man in the world, that a lot of people are, inherently, good and helpful when it comes down to it, and that in the end? It's just stuff. Turns out it's true. And just stuff really doesn't matter all that much, in the end.

Something the Tourists Can't Get at Home... (except they totally can)

2007-06-14T13:33:00.001-05:00

People have varying opinions about the Taste of Chicago. Some folks decry it unilaterally, complaining about the crowds, the garbage, the price you end up paying, the crap beer they serve (ok, well, I hate that part, too). Some people look forward to it every year, and think it really is one of the best things Chicago has to offer.

I fall somewhere in the middle - I won't go out of my way for the Taste, but if I have the opportunity, sure, I'll drop 20 bucks in order to have some delicacies that I don't get often, such as deep-fried artichoke and crawfish and goat (not to mention all the hell-spawn pork and shellfish); and I can usually time it well, getting there early during a given meal period (say, 11:30 or 5:30) so that I get some good people-watching in, but it's not too insanely busy.

And I am proud of the fact that this city that I love has the opportunity to showcase some of the amazing cuisine it produces. Which is why I was a little taken aback by an item close to the end of this piece yesterday, to which I can only reply: I am not sure that Potbelly is not the best that Chicago has to offer.

Seriously? Potbelly???

Stressed

2007-06-12T10:14:00.000-05:00

"Be careful what you wish for, because you might get it." Turns out the cliche is true. No details right now, but I have big decisions to make, and lots to think about, and I really wish I had a crystal ball or a magic wand or a fairy godmother who could help me make the right choice. I have a supportive husband, which rocks, but his supportiveness means that he's all about raising helpful questions and encouraging me to think about all the issues and promising to support me no matter what I do.

I told him last night that I almost wished he would decree what I should do, one way or the other. To which he replied, "Oh, so I guess I should be, like, 'You should get the highest-paying job you can that gets you home as early as possible, so you can cook me a good dinner while I... watch... um, sports." Which, clearly, is crazy-talk - he wants me to cook him dinner while he plays the clarinet.

Decisions. Grrr. Argh.

Good to Great

2007-06-11T10:04:00.000-05:00

A couple of dinners out, a nice long walk downtown, lots of delicious beer, seeing friends at a party, checking out a movie, running a few errands, clearing out the Tivo. Overall, a pretty good weekend. Unless your husband has just finished his first year of law school, and this is the first time during that year that you've spent a solid 60 hours together without his needing to do any studying or other prep whatsoever. That makes it a FABULOUS weekend. Nice.

Just for the Record

2007-06-06T08:31:00.000-05:00

Rob & Big may well be the best thing on television today. Or ever.

Public Transportation Etiquette

2007-05-16T08:44:00.000-05:00

To the just-too-adorable-for-words Gap-clad girl riding the brown line with me last night:

It's true, trains are crowded at 5:30 on a Tuesday evening. Stop expressing your amazement over and over and over. You also might consider grabbing on to one of the poles provided for exactly that purpose, rather than clutching your equally-adorable Abercrombie-clad boyfriend, then squealing and giggling and being flung about every time the train lurches, especially when the two people on either side of you, continually battered by your flailing body, keep moving aside to make space for you to grab the pole. (Also? Your boyfriend's insistence on reading the free daily while you try to talk to him is totally passive-aggressive, not as adorably silly as you think it is.) When you do break down and grab that pole 6 stops later, you might want to consider bending your elbows, so that you leave a little bit of room for the other passengers. And while standing there with your arms perfectly straight, it's really not necessary to lean way back in order to get underneath the boyfriend's free daily, in an effort to catch his attention by reading the gossip pages aloud to him. Additionally, when there is a little extra space in the train, and you feel your back pressed up against a stranger's left arm, you maybe want to take a half step forward. Maybe. Or, you know, just stay there until said stranger finally shuffles away and smushes herself into the wall of the train car in order to not be touching you if at all possible. And for the record, said stranger also may not enjoy having your adorably bushy ponytail right in her face either.

In other words? This is your dance space. This is my dance space. STAY THE HELL OUT OF MY DANCE SPACE.

"Our lives are different than other people's."

2007-05-14T11:37:00.000-05:00

OK, so that quote is attributable to Oz on Buffy, and I will readily admit that my life is not all about demon killing and dark magic... but do you ever have that moment where all you can think is, "One of these things is not like the other... and it's me"? It's happened to me quite a lot recently.

1. Chatting with a coworker a few weeks ago, he asked what my weekend plans were, and I told him: "I'm having Korean night with my friends! We're going out for Korean fried chicken, then going to see The Host." "The Hoax? The Richard Gere movie?" "No, you know, the Korean horror flick that's supposed to be AMAZING." This was met with silence and, in ensuing weeks, statements about how he's not into "art-house movies" like I am.

2. At a baby shower last weekend, I realized I was one of only two women of my generation there without children. Actually, that means I was one of only two women there at all without children. And I know the other one is working on having children. Hmmm.... Anyway, at some point, conversation turned to movies, and one woman declared, "I haven't seen anything in theaters that wasn't a kids' movie since 1997" and everyone else chimed in with a similar statement. I decided not to mention that I had gone to 28 Weeks Later the night before. I'm pretty sure it's not appropriate for children, anyway.

3. Sat through a long conversation about golf this morning. Contributed nothing.

To Sum Up: Anthropomorphized: Good; Suicidal: Bad

2007-05-02T16:19:00.000-05:00

When I was in college, many of my friends thought I had a problem with anthropomorphized food.

This was untrue. I only had a problem with a very specific kind of anthropomorphized food.

The subject came up because I had issues with this M&Ms commercial that was all over the place in the mid-'90s. It was a cartoon in which the M&Ms all went to boot camp. They were living in barracks, doing obstacle courses, saluting their superiors, diving into vats of colored... something... which would eventually create their colorful candy shells.

The thing that killed me was that these M&Ms were training to be the very best M&Ms they could be. And why? So they could be consumed by greedy humans. It's like M&Ms were lemmings or something, not only resigned to their suicidal fates, but actually excited about them... I guess M&Ms were the precursors to suicide bombers. I don't know if they were promised 70 M&M virgins in heaven, though.

So I used to complain about this commercial a lot (because, you know, I watched TV a lot), leading many people to erroneously believe I just had problems with walking, talking food, or food with faces (which I so did not! just ask my roommate how much I loved her happy M&M man, who dispensed candy to all who came to our house!). H e understood, though, exactly where I was coming from, which is why, as soon as I got online this morning, he sent me this.

I'm so glad to know someone else understands where we're coming from.

(I have since realized that he must have found that link here, so credit where credit's due.)

Another Way TV Shows are Different from the Real World

2007-04-30T08:17:00.000-05:00

I get that abortion is a touchy subject, I really do. It's a topic that people all along the spectrum get very passionate about, myself included, and that can make it hard to discuss. But does that mean that the world of popular culture has to pretend it doesn't exist?

If you haven't watched last week's Lost yet, you might want to skip this paragraph. If you have watched it, perhaps you can explain to me why it is that neither Juliet nor Sun even broached the subject that perhaps Sun should consider terminating her pregnancy? I mean, even a perfunctory three-line conversation, which ended with Juliet saying, "Yeah, we tried that, the women all died anyway" would have been preferable to just pretending the option didn't exist. Of course, this whole episode seemed wrapped up in the concept of womanhood being inextricably tied to reproduction - the implication that Sun's and Jin's marriage wasn't complete until they produced a child has been bugging me for a while now, and this didn't do anything to help it.

Still, though, I do think that this is a widespread oversight. The most egregious example, which I still get pissed off about when I think about it, came in the season finale of Scrubs last season. Two women found themselves unexpectedly expecting: one had proclaimed, along with her partner, that they most definitely did not want any more children, no way, no how; the other had been on one date with the child's father, having met him within the last month. Additionally, between these four characters, three of them were medical professionals, and the fourth sat on the hospital board; all would know the specifics of what abortion entails, its risks as compared to risks of childbirth, the fact that, despite what some women are being told, it does not lead to increased risk of breast cancer or difficulty conceiving later in life, etc. And yet no one even broached the idea of abortion. Not for even a second. It was wholly illogical, and a pansy-ass move, as far as I'm concerned.

I'm sure the TV producers are just concerned about alienating certain viewers and, potentially, losing ad revenue as a result, and I know that that's a business decision. But how come no one cares about alienating viewers like me?