What Kind of Statement Do Tube Socks Make?

The majority of the weekend was wiled away at the Pitchfork Music Festival. I won't bore you with details about how amazing Yo La Tengo's set was, or how I run the risk of becoming a little obsessed with Jens Lekman because he was so awesome, because actual music journalists will provide much better reviews for those who care. I also won't go off about being outside for several hours during extreme heat warnings because, really, that would amount to little more than complaining - clearly we survived, thanks primarily to the many, many bottles of water we brought with us.

What I was intrigued by, though, was the fashion choices of many of the festival's attendees. I'm not talking about the shirtless guys and bikini-clad girls, either, because they clearly made practical choices based on the afore-mentioned heat wave. Instead, I'm referring to the folks who insisted on being so very impractical.

Waiting for our first set of the weekend (the highly energetic and entertaining Mountain Goats), the husband suddenly observed, "It seems like a lot of these people have made, um, very conscious decisions about how they want to present themselves." Looking around, I realized he was referring to the 20-something guy a few feet away from us clad in a buttoned-to-the-top plaid shirt, shorts, and knee-high patterned wool socks with dress shoes. When it comes to aesthetics, to each his own is, of course, the rule - and yet that guy CANNOT have been comfortable in wool knee socks when the heat index was over 100.

So for the rest of the weekend, we kept an eye out for, and mental catalogue of, people who were clearly allowing their desire to make a fashion statement overpower their desire to be, well, even remotely comfortable:

• Everyone in jeans. And there were many. Some of whom were wearing dresses over their jeans. Did I miss something? Didn't that trend end a year or two ago?
  
• The white-boy dreads dude in the floor-length-culottes get-up. (Side note: exactly what does it take to get white-boy dreads? Am I correct in my belief that a major part of the process involves simply not washing your hair for a really long time?)
• The guy in the knitted wool cap.
• Girls in linen sundresses, chiffon sundresses, and/or heels - while I'm sure they were a little less hot 'n' sweaty than many of their counterparts, these chicks clearly allowed their desire to be cute to win out over their desire to be able to flop down on the dirty ground at a moment's notice, or to be comfortable during the several hours of standing in one place.
• Men with LOTS of facial hair. If you live in Chicago, it seems to me that it might be wise to shave - or at least trim extensively - every June. But these mountain-man-types clearly do not agree with that assessment.
• Folks who had the sense to wear shorts or skirts, but then paired them with leather or suede boots.
  
• The couple outfitted head-to-toe - long pants, long sleeves - in fluorescent pink.
  

And then, of course, there were the people who weren't necessarily as uncomfortable as those listed above, but who just made me feel old and crotchety while I tried to grasp when and how their style choices became even remotely hip:

• The '70s porn star mustache (we counted at least half a dozen). 'Nuff said.
• The guy with the fake '70s porn star mustache. That was just weird.
  
• The '80s running shorts that just barely cover the ass cheeks.
  
• The tube socks. Oh, so many tube socks!!!