Ozzily Yours

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Public Transportation Etiquette

To the just-too-adorable-for-words Gap-clad girl riding the brown line with me last night:

It's true, trains are crowded at 5:30 on a Tuesday evening. Stop expressing your amazement over and over and over. You also might consider grabbing on to one of the poles provided for exactly that purpose, rather than clutching your equally-adorable Abercrombie-clad boyfriend, then squealing and giggling and being flung about every time the train lurches, especially when the two people on either side of you, continually battered by your flailing body, keep moving aside to make space for you to grab the pole. (Also? Your boyfriend's insistence on reading the free daily while you try to talk to him is totally passive-aggressive, not as adorably silly as you think it is.) When you do break down and grab that pole 6 stops later, you might want to consider bending your elbows, so that you leave a little bit of room for the other passengers. And while standing there with your arms perfectly straight, it's really not necessary to lean way back in order to get underneath the boyfriend's free daily, in an effort to catch his attention by reading the gossip pages aloud to him. Additionally, when there is a little extra space in the train, and you feel your back pressed up against a stranger's left arm, you maybe want to take a half step forward. Maybe. Or, you know, just stay there until said stranger finally shuffles away and smushes herself into the wall of the train car in order to not be touching you if at all possible. And for the record, said stranger also may not enjoy having your adorably bushy ponytail right in her face either.

In other words? This is your dance space. This is my dance space. STAY THE HELL OUT OF MY DANCE SPACE.


  • Being clueless HAS to have some advantages in life, too many people have survived that way.

    By Anonymous Moth, at 5/16/2007 11:20 AM  

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